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Hellofisherman.com
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I love doing comedy.
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I was doing a show,
at, uh, Hermosa Beach
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at the Comedy and Magic Club,
right?
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So I leave, I leave
and I'm walking to my car
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and it's getting a little cold,
a little dark outside,
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so I'm thinking, "Let me hurry
up to get to where I need
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to be," so I start jogging.
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Then this white lady with her
little jogging outfit on
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came around the corner
about 20 feet in front of me.
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We're jogging
in the same direction now.
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Then she looked back.
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She started jogging faster.
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So I looked back, too.
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Now, I didn't see
anything back there.
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I could've easily
passed her up,
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but I'm thinking,
"No, I can't just leave
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"this defenseless lady
out here by herself.
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Whoever back there
gonna get her."
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So I yelled up to her,
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"Is that as fast
as you can run?"
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Ladies and
gentlemen, Ben Marcus.
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See? I told you he was good.
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Yeah, you're right.
He had potential.
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- Why'd he give it up?
- We'll get to that.
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But right now there's
something bigger at stake.
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No way. Is he gonna jump off
that bridge over a dumb $8,000?
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That's a different movie.
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And eight grand was
a lot of money in 1946.
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That's true.
What's his deal?
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He's still living in the past,
living for himself.
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He doesn't even see
that his family's slipping away.
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Wow. They seem fine.
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I mean, they're together.
They go to church.
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- What's so bad?
- Looks can be deceiving,
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even for church families.
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The bottom line is
that if Ben doesn't start taking
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God's Word seriously,
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- he's gonna end up like his dad.
- Mm.
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Wait a minute, uh,
what happened to his dad?
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- Here, just watch.
- Over here?
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- Over there.
- Oh.
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♪ Hey ♪
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♪ Huh ♪
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♪ When you wish upon a star ♪
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♪ Your dreams
will take you very far ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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♪ But when you wish
upon a dream ♪
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♪ Life ain't
always what it seems ♪
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♪ Oh, yeah ♪
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♪ What you see
on nights so clear ♪
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♪ Hey ♪
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♪ In the sky so very dear,
yeah ♪
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♪ You're a shining star ♪
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♪ No matter who you are ♪
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♪ Shining bright to see ♪
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♪ What you could truly be ♪
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♪ Shining star for you to see ♪
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♪ What your life can truly be ♪
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♪ Shining star for you to see ♪
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♪ What your life can truly be. ♪
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Come on, Ben.
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We're gonna be late.
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♪ Joy, joy ♪
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♪ Living for You is our joy ♪
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♪ Joy ♪
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♪ In Your Word, we find You ♪
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♪ Give us everything ♪
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♪ For everlasting joy ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Sing joy with us now ♪
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♪ Joy, joy ♪
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♪ Living for You is our joy ♪
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♪ Joy. ♪
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What did you spend $48 on
at Kohl's?
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Hannah.
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She needed new shoes
for her play.
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She got a hundred pair of shoes.
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She needed special ones.
She's in Grease.
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Set in the '50s.
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- Jack, come eat.
- 'Kay.
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If it's set in the '50s,
shoes were, like, 80 cents.
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Give her a dollar.
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- She can keep the change.
- Whatever.
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Look, her last show is on
the 12th, and we are all going.
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Jack, come eat.
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- 'Kay.
- Hey.
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How you doing, $48?
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Did I do something wrong?
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No. Dad's just in one
of his moods.
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Jack, ven a comer ahora,
por favor.
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'Kay.
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Okay, look, hear me out.
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Um, can she at least wear these
shoes with all of her clothes?
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You are such a tonto.
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You know, get over the shoes.
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Maybe help around the house
today.
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Like, uh, the downstairs toilet.
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It's making a weird sound.
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And,
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apparently,
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spraying water as well.
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All my life,
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I've had to fight.
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Good morning, Kim.
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Ben, hey, congrats.
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Oh, thanks a lot. Thank you.
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Three in a row.
You must be excited.
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Whoa. I don't know
if I could be more excited, Kim.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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the first three-time nominee
for Best Reality Show Editing.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Thanks a lot.
Appreciate it.
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- Thank you.
- What'd Jesse say about it?
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Yeah, Jesse, Jesse.
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- Yeah...
- You didn't tell her, did you?
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Uh, well, you know,
I kind of... I mimed it to her,
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- kind of.
- What is with you? And I thought about this.
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I want you to go
to the ceremony this year.
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Ceremony?
You getting married again?
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- I don't know what you're talking about.
- I'm serious, Ben.
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It's great for the show
if you represent.
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- I want you to go.
- Uh, I don't think so.
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We did conform
the begonia footage, right?
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- It's on there, yeah.
- Cool.
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You can take the kids.
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Let me explain about ceremonies
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to you, especially award show.
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If they win, I'm a loser.
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If I win,
I'm surrounded by losers.
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Well, at least tell me
you'll think about it.
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You know what, uh,
I will think about it.
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- Okay.
- Hey, let me ask you a question.
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How do you spell "no"?
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Ben, look,
I just hope you reconsider.
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'Cause you've earned this.
You might win.
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Rosie might not realize she's
working with the best editor.
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But as your producer,
I know she is.
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This is so wack.
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I appreciate that, man.
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What time does Rosie get in?
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She's here, already. Okay?
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There's no time for coffee.
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Oh, I love this soil.
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I could just roll around
in this.
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It's not too sticky,
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not too sandy.
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It is just right.
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Lord, I might just go take
a bath in it.
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This is my little
perennial family.
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They're gonna go dormant on you.
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But don't let that worry you.
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Don't you worry.
Are you worried?
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I don't think you are.
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And I'm gonna tell you
why you're not worried
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in just one minute.
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We'll be right back.
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Thoughts?
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I like it.
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It's much better.
Great tease.
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Yeah, man. So, what I figured I
would do is I would contrast...
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I know what you're trying to do,
what you think you're doing.
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But you cannot contrast
perennials
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if you haven't shown
any annuals.
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- You're right. You're comp...
- No. You don't know the difference.
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- Rosie.
- Yeah, I do. - No.
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No, you don't. You do not.
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There's no way that you can.
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Now, we need to get this right.
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- You're so right. I don't know what I was thinking.
- Yes.
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So, um, let's get it right.
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Um...
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Uh...
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What's wrong?
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It's frozen.
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Well, then unfreeze it.
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It's a technical thing, Rosie.
He can't do it from here.
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- Texting Mickey right now.
- Take an early lunch today.
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Oh, yes.
Yes, let's just eat lunch.
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Let's buy everybody lunch.
Why don't we do that?
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Let's just go in the hole,
buying lunches for people.
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You're doing such a fine job.
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"You're doing such a fine job."
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78, seventy...
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107.
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What up, Pastor?
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Not a pastor yet.
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So, what's going on?
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Man,
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thing keeps freezing up.
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It's stuttering, man.
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So, how long
has it been freezing up?
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Ah, it's been, like, a week.
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Oh, I got you.
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Oh, man.
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One more class,
and then I get to graduate.
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Congratulations.
That's awesome.
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Got to just finish my,
uh, senior thesis.
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Oh. Yeah.
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That's gonna be a lot of fun,
probably.
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No, it's cool.
I actually, uh...
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finally picked a topic.
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Okay, what'd you pick?
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You need to read the Bible.
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That's what I'm calling
my paper.
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Oh. Yeah,
that's a good one, man.
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I'm focusing on men.
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You know, how when we study
and read the Word,
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it... gets into our hearts,
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it affects our families.
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It's powerful, man.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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Really.
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And people need to know that.
Amen.
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Yeah, totally.
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Hey, man, I'd love to, uh...
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I'd love to pick your brain
sometime.
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Pick it for...
What are you looking for?
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00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:54,979
Well, I mean,
you're a Christian, you know?
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You're... You got a family.
You're old.
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No offense.
But I figure,
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if I'm gonna have a wife
and kids and, you know,
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00:10:00,115 --> 00:10:02,186
be a pastor someday,
I could learn a lot from you.
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00:10:02,219 --> 00:10:04,822
Yeah, it's, it's really not
that interesting, man,
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00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,456
- I'll just be real with you.
- Come on. See?
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00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,192
That's what I love about you...
you're humble.
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00:10:08,225 --> 00:10:10,158
That's exactly the kind of guy
I want to learn from.
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Besides, I've worked here for,
like, what, over two years,
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00:10:12,096 --> 00:10:13,428
and I feel like
I barely know you.
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- I need to process.
- Yeah, go ahead, take your time.
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00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:18,201
No, bruh.
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I need my processor to work.
Right there.
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00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:22,038
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, this. Yes.
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Um, this processor is dying.
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Um, I can get around it for now
and get you through the day,
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but I'm gonna have to order
the upgrade, so...
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All right,
I'll leave you at it, man.
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Yeah.
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00:10:31,947 --> 00:10:33,917
Okay, let me know when it's set.
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00:10:33,951 --> 00:10:35,219
Yeah.
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00:10:56,105 --> 00:10:58,942
- I got to ask you guys something.
- Yep.
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- You know, when I wake up in the morning...
- Right.
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00:11:01,009 --> 00:11:02,879
I go into the bathroom,
and I sit down
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00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,379
when I have
to go to the bathroom.
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00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:05,916
Okay.
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00:11:05,947 --> 00:11:07,250
- I don't stand.
- Right.
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00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,619
'Cause I'm tired,
a little disoriented.
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00:11:08,653 --> 00:11:10,187
- Right.
- You guys do that, too?
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00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,221
- No.
- No. Mm-mm. - Really?
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00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,190
Yeah, that's just you, man.
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00:11:13,221 --> 00:11:15,359
What else do you do
that no one else does?
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00:11:15,392 --> 00:11:16,994
I like black licorice.
254
00:11:17,027 --> 00:11:19,296
I'll bet you nobody
likes that, either.
255
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,230
Are you just saying that
'cause I'm here?
256
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,264
No.
257
00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,134
- That's funny.
- He's a funny guy.
258
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:27,037
- Yeah.
- I always said you were a funny guy.
259
00:11:27,071 --> 00:11:28,370
- Yeah.
- You had potential.
260
00:11:28,403 --> 00:11:29,873
- Yep.
- Yeah, man,
261
00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:31,173
that-that ship's
kind of sailed, man.
262
00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:33,110
I'm not really...
it's not something
263
00:11:33,143 --> 00:11:35,610
- I could do right now.
- It's your dad, isn't it?
264
00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:37,447
You want to be a comic,
be a comic.
265
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,216
- You're young.
- So, what,
266
00:11:39,249 --> 00:11:41,552
at this point in my life,
I'm gonna start back touring
267
00:11:41,585 --> 00:11:43,418
and doing comedy in the clubs
and all that?
268
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,489
- There's no way, man. I got a family.
- Hey, speaking of comedy,
269
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:47,624
right, my brother Tracy
sends me a video.
270
00:11:47,658 --> 00:11:49,591
Hilarious.
It's a guy,
271
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,995
four deep-dish pizzas,
272
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,562
frozen, he's juggling 'em.
273
00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:56,033
At the end... they're cooked.
274
00:11:56,066 --> 00:11:57,500
- What?
- Yeah. It's great.
275
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,070
I've watched it, like, 30 times.
Like, David Blaine who?
276
00:12:00,104 --> 00:12:02,673
- You saw this on the YouTube or something?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
277
00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:04,041
I'm thinking of starting
278
00:12:04,072 --> 00:12:05,642
- my own YouTube.
- Really?
279
00:12:05,677 --> 00:12:07,945
- Yeah.
- Nobody's gonna watch an old man cutting hair.
280
00:12:07,976 --> 00:12:09,413
No, I'm not cutting hair,
you idiot.
281
00:12:09,446 --> 00:12:12,115
I'm, um, soap carving.
Um, carving of soap.
282
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,984
Really? You think
there's a lot of people
283
00:12:14,017 --> 00:12:16,052
that would watch you
carving soap?
284
00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:18,053
I don't know.
People watch me cutting hair.
285
00:12:18,086 --> 00:12:19,254
Uh-huh, um, listen.
286
00:12:19,288 --> 00:12:21,158
You know, it just dawned on me,
287
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:24,461
I'm a black man with a bald head
at a white barbershop.
288
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,995
So I'm gonna go.
289
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,269
He's black?
290
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,606
Brought you a carnation, Mom.
291
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,979
It's a herbaceous perennial.
292
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,447
If you do it right,
293
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:49,086
it has a three-,
sometimes four-week vase life.
294
00:12:52,556 --> 00:12:54,389
I'm trying, Mom.
295
00:12:55,993 --> 00:12:57,995
I am trying.
296
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,537
"You discover the rainforest,
297
00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:09,673
"you hike glaciers
of ancient blue-violet ice,
298
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,307
and you ride horseback
with a 'goo-cho.'"
299
00:13:12,341 --> 00:13:13,408
Gaucho.
300
00:13:14,476 --> 00:13:16,379
We're not moving to Argentina.
301
00:13:16,413 --> 00:13:18,014
Again, why not?
302
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,652
Look, Ben, I'm trying
to be understanding, okay?
303
00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:24,488
But in the middle of
this midlife crisis, can you...
304
00:13:24,519 --> 00:13:27,624
I don't know...
help out around the house?
305
00:13:27,658 --> 00:13:29,057
You know...
306
00:13:29,091 --> 00:13:31,159
uh, fix the toilet?
307
00:13:31,195 --> 00:13:32,427
I hate that toilet.
308
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,431
Forget the toilet, okay?
309
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,567
But don't forget Hannah's play.
310
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,432
Or your son Jack,
311
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,336
who needs help
with his math homework.
312
00:13:39,369 --> 00:13:41,071
You know,
his teacher e-mailed us.
313
00:13:41,104 --> 00:13:43,440
He's doing it right now...
why don't you go help him?
314
00:13:44,639 --> 00:13:46,143
I'll fix the toilet.
315
00:13:46,176 --> 00:13:48,177
Ben, please...
316
00:13:48,211 --> 00:13:50,214
please snap out of this.
317
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,548
Okay.
318
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:56,687
Let's do some math.
319
00:13:56,721 --> 00:13:58,288
I am your tutor.
320
00:13:58,322 --> 00:14:00,524
- Let's do this.
- I'm almost done.
321
00:14:01,658 --> 00:14:02,759
Son...
322
00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:04,796
you're watching a video.
323
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,730
- I know.
- That's not math.
324
00:14:06,764 --> 00:14:08,465
We're doing fractions.
325
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,100
This guy has 87,000 views
on this video.
326
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:13,101
I rounded it up to 90.
327
00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:15,639
He posted it three days ago,
which means he gets
328
00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:19,042
30,000 views a day,
because one-third of 90 is 30.
329
00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:21,610
This other video,
he posted seven days ago.
330
00:14:21,644 --> 00:14:25,115
It has 1.4 million views,
which means he gets
331
00:14:25,148 --> 00:14:26,750
200,000 views a day,
because one-seventh
332
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,152
of 1.4 million is 200,000.
333
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:32,120
Look, you know...
334
00:14:32,153 --> 00:14:34,423
your mom said you needed
some help with math, but...
335
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,625
If I finish,
can you teach me how to edit?
336
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:38,326
Yeah, may... uh, maybe someday,
337
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,197
maybe someday.
338
00:14:40,230 --> 00:14:44,301
So, when you say
1.4 million views,
339
00:14:44,332 --> 00:14:46,302
does that mean
1.4 million humans
340
00:14:46,336 --> 00:14:48,303
have actually watched
this video?
341
00:14:48,336 --> 00:14:50,572
- That's a lot.
- That's nothing.
342
00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:52,475
This one has seven million.
343
00:14:52,509 --> 00:14:55,379
Seven million people want
to watch this dude's videos?
344
00:14:55,412 --> 00:14:57,147
What's so special about him?
345
00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:59,416
He talks while
he plays Minecraft.
346
00:14:59,447 --> 00:15:01,283
And seven million people
want to watch?
347
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,720
Yeah. I guess.
348
00:15:02,754 --> 00:15:05,620
Who wants to watch somebody else
play a video game?
349
00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:07,692
Everyone, Dad.
He's funny.
350
00:15:07,725 --> 00:15:10,494
I mean, he has to be...
he's a millionaire.
351
00:15:10,527 --> 00:15:12,360
Wha...? A millionaire?
352
00:15:12,394 --> 00:15:13,730
W-Well, how?
353
00:15:13,764 --> 00:15:15,230
UTOO pays him.
354
00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:17,701
UTOO pays this dude
millions of dollars
355
00:15:17,735 --> 00:15:21,673
so he can make a video
of himself playing video games?
356
00:15:21,706 --> 00:15:23,440
Yes?
357
00:15:23,471 --> 00:15:24,841
Wh-Wh-Who... Wha-wha-wha...
358
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:26,576
uh, what?!
359
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:29,278
This is what I love
about lilies.
360
00:15:29,312 --> 00:15:31,615
They are so "pottable"...
that means
361
00:15:31,648 --> 00:15:33,716
you could put them
in little pots.
362
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:36,320
Don't you just love all these
little hints I'm giving you?
363
00:15:36,351 --> 00:15:37,721
Yes, you do.
364
00:15:37,754 --> 00:15:39,556
This is Rosie's Roses,
365
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:43,625
and you keep planting,
and you keep loving, okay?
366
00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:45,763
Boom.
367
00:15:45,797 --> 00:15:48,398
I love it.
Maybe our best episode ever.
368
00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:50,634
I think it is a piece of junk.
369
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:53,503
It is a mangled-up piece
of junk!
370
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,673
You left out the whole section
of my spring tulips!
371
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,341
My tulips!
372
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,644
You made me look like a moron,
for heaven's sakes!
373
00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:03,144
Here's what I was thinking.
374
00:16:03,178 --> 00:16:04,514
- Um...
- No, no, no, no, no.
375
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,883
You're not supposed to think.
376
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:07,384
You're supposed
to push those buttons.
377
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:09,250
Is that your picture
up on the wall?
378
00:16:09,284 --> 00:16:10,485
I don't think so.
Is that you
379
00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:12,288
in the poster?
No, it's not.
380
00:16:12,322 --> 00:16:14,759
Are those your roses?
I don't think they are.
381
00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,426
You're supposed to push
the buttons.
382
00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:19,296
Now you get to start this thing
all over and get it right!
383
00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:22,197
Yes. Absolutely.
Get it right.
384
00:16:24,332 --> 00:16:26,534
I'll talk to her.
385
00:17:21,857 --> 00:17:23,693
What if I just...?
386
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:27,596
Let's do this.
I'm a grown man.
387
00:17:30,365 --> 00:17:31,401
So, check it.
388
00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:33,368
Uh, my name is Ben, right?
389
00:17:33,403 --> 00:17:35,471
And this is my very first video.
390
00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,673
Um, okay, so, uh...
391
00:17:37,709 --> 00:17:41,411
um, two guys walked
into a bar, right?
392
00:17:41,443 --> 00:17:43,380
There was a bump on their head,
'cause it was...
393
00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:44,413
it was a pretty heavy...
394
00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:45,548
No, no.
395
00:17:45,582 --> 00:17:46,916
Uh...
396
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:51,488
Oh, I got two atheist friends.
Every time I'm around them,
397
00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:54,924
I sneeze just to see
what they're gonna say.
398
00:17:56,526 --> 00:17:58,626
So, growing up,
I went to private school.
399
00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:00,395
Uh, but I probably
shouldn't tell you that,
400
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:01,897
'cause it was private.
401
00:18:01,932 --> 00:18:04,334
And my wife,
she's a different race
402
00:18:04,365 --> 00:18:05,535
than I am.
403
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,837
Which means we have
mixed feelings.
404
00:18:07,872 --> 00:18:11,339
Why is "abbreviation"
such a long word?
405
00:18:11,374 --> 00:18:13,943
Why is there no mirrors
in the self-checkout?
406
00:18:13,978 --> 00:18:15,711
Can I call a white duck
a quacker?
407
00:18:15,747 --> 00:18:16,948
I got friends who are white.
408
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,582
When a dog is wearing clothes,
409
00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:21,351
is he disgusted
by the nakedness of other dogs?
410
00:18:21,384 --> 00:18:22,519
And last,
411
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:23,855
I'd like to say,
I think it's okay
412
00:18:23,886 --> 00:18:26,454
to regift a gift card
as long as there's at least
413
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:27,790
a little something on it.
414
00:18:27,825 --> 00:18:29,026
I'm Ben.
415
00:18:29,058 --> 00:18:30,862
Thanks for watching.
416
00:18:30,894 --> 00:18:33,497
- Hey, man.
- Hey. What's up, bruh?
417
00:18:33,528 --> 00:18:35,565
Hey, I just need to, uh,
install the upgrade.
418
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:37,567
If now's not a good time,
I can...
419
00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:38,669
Oh. No. Cool.
420
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,069
Uh, I'm about to bounce.
421
00:18:40,104 --> 00:18:42,905
- Cool.
- So I am out of... oh, snap.
422
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:45,040
I still got
all these logs to do.
423
00:18:45,076 --> 00:18:47,778
- Hey, so this held up?
- Uh, it was fine, man.
424
00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:49,945
Cool. Cool.
Well, this new processor
425
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:51,048
is gonna make it fly.
426
00:18:51,082 --> 00:18:53,481
Oh. Dude,
that'll be awesome, man.
427
00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:56,486
If it's okay, I'd still like
to pick your brain,
428
00:18:56,519 --> 00:18:58,355
you know, for my thesis.
429
00:18:58,386 --> 00:19:00,522
- The thing you're doing, yeah, yeah.
- It blows my mind
430
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,692
how God...
the God of the universe...
431
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:05,461
gave us a book.
432
00:19:05,493 --> 00:19:07,765
Yeah, that's amazing,
gave us a book.
433
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:10,500
It's like His words,
absolute authority,
434
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,469
totally true, you know?
435
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,435
You know what?
That should be a bumper sticker.
436
00:19:14,471 --> 00:19:16,772
I would put it
right on the back.
437
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,875
It's crazy, though,
how so many guys
438
00:19:18,910 --> 00:19:20,711
that call themselves Christians
439
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,711
couldn't care less
about the Bible.
440
00:19:22,747 --> 00:19:25,480
- That stuff is wack. I don't understand that.
- Like, I know
441
00:19:25,515 --> 00:19:27,549
some guys who leave their Bibles
in their car, and then they,
442
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,451
you know,
they take it out for church,
443
00:19:29,486 --> 00:19:31,421
and then church is over and it
goes right into the trunk,
444
00:19:31,452 --> 00:19:33,490
and they don't even think about
it for the rest of the week.
445
00:19:33,521 --> 00:19:35,458
I can't stand those guys,
though, man.
446
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:37,827
- That stuff is...
- Look, man, I'm sorry,
447
00:19:37,862 --> 00:19:39,596
I know I'm preaching
to the choir,
448
00:19:39,627 --> 00:19:40,963
but real quick, um,
449
00:19:40,998 --> 00:19:43,098
I have this little book
I want to give you.
450
00:19:43,134 --> 00:19:45,036
It's called
Why We Need the Bible.
451
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,769
Think you'll really like it.
452
00:19:46,804 --> 00:19:49,439
Oh. All right, it's cool, man.
453
00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:51,075
I'll bring it in next time.
You could have it.
454
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,808
Sure, that's-that's cool.
455
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,913
It's this one.
456
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,115
Oh, he is cute.
457
00:19:58,147 --> 00:19:59,982
Mm-hmm.
He's a junior.
458
00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:01,951
He's got a car and everything.
459
00:20:01,986 --> 00:20:04,086
- Oh, that is cool.
- Right?
460
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:07,790
Yeah, he's the lead in this play
that I'm in at school.
461
00:20:07,825 --> 00:20:09,424
- It's called Grease.
- Mmm.
462
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,558
My dad,
463
00:20:10,594 --> 00:20:14,131
he used to talk about God
all the time with my mom.
464
00:20:14,163 --> 00:20:17,000
I-I just thought
it would be the same with Ben.
465
00:20:17,034 --> 00:20:20,069
Hannah and-and Jack
are growing up so fast.
466
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:29,712
I just wish he was,
you know, more involved.
467
00:20:29,747 --> 00:20:32,750
I feel like
I'm doing this all on my own.
468
00:20:34,616 --> 00:20:36,118
I'm sorry. I...
469
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:38,990
I tend to eat a lot of sweets
when I'm stressed.
470
00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:42,459
I mean, I wouldn't say
471
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:44,161
we're dating, but we're
not really into labels.
472
00:20:44,193 --> 00:20:46,063
Well, have you guys kissed yet?
473
00:20:46,096 --> 00:20:48,431
No, not yet.
474
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:49,865
But, you know, all of us do
this kind of, like,
475
00:20:49,901 --> 00:20:51,601
midnight hangout thing
at Canyon Park.
476
00:20:51,634 --> 00:20:53,671
- You should come.
- At midnight?
477
00:20:53,702 --> 00:20:55,570
Mm-hmm.
478
00:20:55,605 --> 00:20:56,772
My parents would never let me.
479
00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:59,476
Your parents don't have to know.
480
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,478
I'm just saying
481
00:21:01,509 --> 00:21:03,180
that you should have seen Tom
482
00:21:03,212 --> 00:21:05,615
when we first got married.
483
00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:07,884
Now, we weren't believers then.
And then one day,
484
00:21:07,919 --> 00:21:10,086
he comes in from work,
and he says,
485
00:21:10,121 --> 00:21:12,056
"You're not going
to believe this,
486
00:21:12,087 --> 00:21:15,826
but I have given my life
to the Lord."
487
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,663
- Mmm.
- My point is
488
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:22,632
God can do incredible things.
489
00:21:22,665 --> 00:21:23,866
Oh.
490
00:21:23,901 --> 00:21:25,067
That's him.
We should probably talk
491
00:21:25,102 --> 00:21:27,703
- about this later.
- Of course. Of course.
492
00:21:27,738 --> 00:21:29,471
Hey, Carol. What's up?
493
00:21:29,506 --> 00:21:30,839
- Hey, Ben.
- Listen,
494
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:32,473
I have something
I have got to tell you guys.
495
00:21:32,509 --> 00:21:34,810
Wait. You know what?
Hold on.
496
00:21:37,748 --> 00:21:39,516
Okay.
497
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:40,683
All right. So,
498
00:21:40,718 --> 00:21:43,220
uh, I'm just gonna come out
and say it.
499
00:21:43,252 --> 00:21:44,922
You're not gonna believe this.
500
00:21:47,656 --> 00:21:49,727
I started a UTOO page.
501
00:21:52,296 --> 00:21:54,131
When a dog is wearing clothes,
502
00:21:54,163 --> 00:21:57,733
is he disgusted
by the nakedness of other dogs?
503
00:21:57,768 --> 00:21:59,836
Like, look at you just hanging out.
504
00:21:59,868 --> 00:22:01,636
And last, I'd like to say
I think it's okay
505
00:22:01,672 --> 00:22:03,074
to regift a gift card
506
00:22:03,105 --> 00:22:05,540
as long as there at least
a little something on it.
507
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:07,678
I'm Ben. I appreciate you.
Thanks for watching.
508
00:22:07,711 --> 00:22:10,247
So, yeah.
That's-that's pretty much it.
509
00:22:12,548 --> 00:22:14,517
This was funny.
510
00:22:14,549 --> 00:22:17,153
I... Did you know
he was this funny?
511
00:22:17,188 --> 00:22:19,690
I don't really know what to say.
512
00:22:19,722 --> 00:22:22,660
Jack, what you think?
I made a, um...
513
00:22:22,692 --> 00:22:24,760
I made a s...
I made a selfie.
514
00:22:24,795 --> 00:22:27,262
Yeah, that's not a selfie, Dad.
515
00:22:27,298 --> 00:22:28,664
It's more of a video.
516
00:22:28,699 --> 00:22:29,900
Okay. Video.
517
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,634
Selfie, video,
whatever you want to call it.
518
00:22:31,669 --> 00:22:33,237
That's fine.
Important thing is you guys,
519
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,904
if you want to,
you can tag along.
520
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:39,174
Um, you know,
follow and like and stuff.
521
00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:40,643
Subscribe.
522
00:22:40,678 --> 00:22:42,880
Yes. That's right.
That's what it is.
523
00:22:42,913 --> 00:22:44,315
You could, you could,
you could subscribe.
524
00:22:44,346 --> 00:22:46,017
Hannah, tell your... tell
your little friend to do it.
525
00:22:46,048 --> 00:22:47,250
Subscribe.
526
00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:49,220
Jack, go ahead.
You do yours now.
527
00:22:49,251 --> 00:22:50,921
Yeah, subscribe now.
528
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:53,257
Yes! There's number two.
529
00:23:06,170 --> 00:23:08,605
Begonia, begonia, begonia!
530
00:23:12,009 --> 00:23:16,814
Do you know
there is 1,795 different types
531
00:23:16,846 --> 00:23:18,816
of begonias?
532
00:23:18,847 --> 00:23:20,983
Honey, if I gave birth
to that many,
533
00:23:21,018 --> 00:23:23,586
that'd be a litter.
534
00:23:27,191 --> 00:23:30,661
...a litter.
535
00:23:57,788 --> 00:23:59,088
Boom. Here we go.
536
00:23:59,123 --> 00:24:01,192
My name is Ben, right?
In this video,
537
00:24:01,223 --> 00:24:03,094
we're gonna make a story up
about a woman.
538
00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:04,827
Not a woman. A really mean lady.
539
00:24:04,862 --> 00:24:07,029
A really mean monster.
Her name is, uh...
540
00:24:07,064 --> 00:24:08,265
is, uh...
541
00:24:08,298 --> 00:24:09,967
Posy.
542
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,366
And she real mean.
543
00:24:13,304 --> 00:24:15,404
Is she looking at me?
544
00:24:15,439 --> 00:24:18,909
And then there's this really
humble, nice, amazing guy.
545
00:24:18,942 --> 00:24:20,411
Oh, not me. It's somebody else.
546
00:24:20,442 --> 00:24:22,813
And then Posy gets all mean.
547
00:24:22,846 --> 00:24:25,249
He wants to moonwalk
away from her sometimes.
548
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,750
Yes, Ben, it was funny, okay?
549
00:24:27,785 --> 00:24:30,319
I'm just saying
that if making videos
550
00:24:30,354 --> 00:24:32,056
is gonna be
your new obsession...
551
00:24:32,087 --> 00:24:33,789
See, that's just it.
It's not an obsession.
552
00:24:33,824 --> 00:24:35,226
I just like doing it.
553
00:24:35,259 --> 00:24:37,826
That's fine, okay?
Just remember
554
00:24:37,862 --> 00:24:40,096
that you're a dad, okay?
And that you have a family.
555
00:24:40,131 --> 00:24:43,298
I go to a job I can't stand
for my family.
556
00:24:43,334 --> 00:24:45,300
I know. You remind me every day.
557
00:24:45,336 --> 00:24:47,403
You don't understand.
This is my first time
558
00:24:47,438 --> 00:24:49,140
in, like, 20 years
559
00:24:49,173 --> 00:24:50,405
I finally get to do
something I love.
560
00:24:50,441 --> 00:24:52,307
I get the point, Ben.
561
00:24:52,343 --> 00:24:54,877
But for once in your life,
have some balance.
562
00:24:54,912 --> 00:24:57,279
Okay? You went from...
from never thinking about it
563
00:24:57,314 --> 00:24:59,414
to being 24-7 on videos.
564
00:24:59,450 --> 00:25:01,451
Spend some time with your kids.
565
00:25:01,483 --> 00:25:03,185
And help around the house.
566
00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:05,055
You know, like that toilet!
567
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:06,390
Cool. It's fine. I'm done.
568
00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:08,959
I'm not doing any more videos.
You win.
569
00:25:08,991 --> 00:25:10,794
Okay, fine. Go. Go make videos.
570
00:25:10,826 --> 00:25:13,230
Go. Go. Just do it all day long.
I don't care anymore.
571
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,900
You know what your problem is,
right?
572
00:25:15,932 --> 00:25:18,169
That is not how you plant
multicolored vincas.
573
00:25:18,201 --> 00:25:20,371
Your soil mixture is a mess.
574
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:25,040
¡No me digas como
plantar flores!
575
00:25:34,151 --> 00:25:36,086
Hello. My name is Ben.
576
00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:39,423
Today, I'm-a teach you
how to fix a toilet. Yeah.
577
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:42,125
When your life is just wack,
as my life is,
578
00:25:42,159 --> 00:25:44,126
next thing
that can only make it lower
579
00:25:44,161 --> 00:25:46,028
is an opportunity
580
00:25:46,063 --> 00:25:47,431
to fix a toilet.
581
00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:49,500
Now you have to lift
this right here. The...
582
00:25:49,531 --> 00:25:51,500
This is called...
the white part.
583
00:25:51,535 --> 00:25:53,304
You may well be
slightly concerned
584
00:25:53,336 --> 00:25:55,873
that the water's not cold
like maybe it should be.
585
00:25:55,904 --> 00:25:57,875
The tuliter valve
goes down in here.
586
00:25:57,906 --> 00:25:59,910
As you just turn this...
587
00:26:03,445 --> 00:26:05,249
Don't be concerned if,
for some reason,
588
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,915
the water turns pink.
589
00:26:06,951 --> 00:26:09,184
This is normal.
This-this is kind of normal.
590
00:26:14,391 --> 00:26:15,857
Son,
591
00:26:15,893 --> 00:26:17,428
that's how you fix a toilet.
592
00:26:17,461 --> 00:26:19,461
Cool.
593
00:26:21,798 --> 00:26:23,432
Is that your stomach?
594
00:26:23,467 --> 00:26:25,300
Nope.
595
00:26:40,048 --> 00:26:43,053
I am so happy.
596
00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:46,154
Ah.
597
00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:49,526
Should I make it out
to Bob's Plumbing?
598
00:27:21,990 --> 00:27:24,126
That speeding man right there
going down the highway
599
00:27:24,161 --> 00:27:25,560
in a BMW.
600
00:27:25,596 --> 00:27:27,096
- Hey.
- Hey.
601
00:27:27,131 --> 00:27:28,565
Uh, Steven just wants to know
602
00:27:28,597 --> 00:27:30,134
when you'll be done
with this episode.
603
00:27:30,165 --> 00:27:32,434
Oh, uh, it's almost there.
604
00:27:32,469 --> 00:27:34,238
Maybe, like, like, an hour.
605
00:27:34,269 --> 00:27:35,404
- Okay, great.
- Cool.
606
00:27:35,439 --> 00:27:39,308
By the way,
that video was hilarious.
607
00:27:39,343 --> 00:27:40,544
What video?
608
00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,313
You fixing the toilet.
609
00:27:43,512 --> 00:27:44,980
We all watched it out there.
610
00:27:45,015 --> 00:27:46,450
Never knew you were that funny.
611
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,887
What's she talking about?
612
00:28:00,028 --> 00:28:01,230
Hello.
613
00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:03,334
This is Ben.
Today, I'm-a teach you
614
00:28:03,365 --> 00:28:05,602
how to fix a toilet.
615
00:28:21,684 --> 00:28:23,618
Refresh.
616
00:28:23,653 --> 00:28:26,521
Ah!
617
00:28:28,223 --> 00:28:29,893
Ooh!
618
00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:31,161
Yo,
619
00:28:31,193 --> 00:28:33,630
- where we at?
- 46,625.
620
00:28:33,663 --> 00:28:35,665
- This is crazy.
- Well, is this normal?
621
00:28:35,700 --> 00:28:38,902
- I have no idea.
- It is when a video goes viral.
622
00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:41,570
- So, you're not mad at me?
- I don't know.
623
00:28:41,605 --> 00:28:43,941
What's up with this name,
Selfie Dad, anyway?
624
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:46,108
I was thinking maybe, like, uh,
625
00:28:46,143 --> 00:28:49,113
Cool, Handsome, Tall,
Hilarious Dad.
626
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,512
I don't think it fits.
627
00:28:50,547 --> 00:28:52,347
Okay, so, where we at?
628
00:28:53,384 --> 00:28:55,951
- 50,009.
- Quick.
629
00:28:55,986 --> 00:28:56,885
- Like, that quick.
- Wow.
630
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,690
It was just...
And now look where we at.
631
00:28:58,721 --> 00:29:00,155
Oh, snap. Okay.
632
00:29:00,190 --> 00:29:02,393
How many, uh,
how many prescribers we got?
633
00:29:02,424 --> 00:29:04,394
- They're subscribers.
- Okay.
634
00:29:04,428 --> 00:29:07,163
- How many of those do we have?
- 905.
635
00:29:07,195 --> 00:29:08,964
- Where's Hannah?
- 905. She's upstairs.
636
00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:11,268
Hannah!
Bring yourself downstairs!
637
00:29:11,299 --> 00:29:13,435
We having a family meeting!
638
00:29:17,539 --> 00:29:19,675
So, why are we having a meeting?
639
00:29:19,711 --> 00:29:21,412
Hey, Jack, what's the numbers?
640
00:29:21,443 --> 00:29:23,512
Just crossed the 90,000 mark.
641
00:29:23,547 --> 00:29:25,717
That's why
we're doing this meeting.
642
00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:28,116
What does that have to do
with us?
643
00:29:28,152 --> 00:29:30,688
Like, we sh... What we got to do
is we need to make more videos.
644
00:29:30,721 --> 00:29:31,953
"We"?
645
00:29:31,989 --> 00:29:33,522
Don't you want to be in them?
646
00:29:33,557 --> 00:29:34,659
Doing what?
647
00:29:34,692 --> 00:29:37,094
Like you gonna be in that play.
Like, you-you could act.
648
00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:38,595
- The play. What is it called again?
- Grease.
649
00:29:38,627 --> 00:29:40,063
It's called Grease.
650
00:29:40,096 --> 00:29:43,133
Oh, okay.
Anyway, Jack, where we at?
651
00:29:43,165 --> 00:29:45,367
- 93,134.
- Yes.
652
00:29:45,402 --> 00:29:47,703
You should be in charge
of our stats.
653
00:29:47,739 --> 00:29:49,306
Heck no. I want to edit.
654
00:29:49,337 --> 00:29:50,708
I edited this one.
655
00:29:50,740 --> 00:29:53,009
You did, too.
How'd you learn how to do that?
656
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:54,644
- Oh, actually...
- And where did you get my phone from?
657
00:29:54,679 --> 00:29:56,113
- Oh, you...
- Whatever, dude. Yeah.
658
00:29:56,144 --> 00:29:57,646
- That's fine. You can edit.
- Yes!
659
00:29:57,682 --> 00:29:59,281
And, sweetie...
660
00:29:59,316 --> 00:30:01,616
I-I just want
your clothes to match.
661
00:30:01,653 --> 00:30:04,721
Boom! You in charge of wardrobe.
It's perfect.
662
00:30:04,756 --> 00:30:07,289
I love it. I don't know
if y'all can feel this.
663
00:30:07,324 --> 00:30:09,192
Can you feel it?
664
00:30:09,226 --> 00:30:12,296
The Marcuses are about
to take over UTOO.
665
00:30:14,766 --> 00:30:17,165
Um... the computer's over here.
666
00:30:17,201 --> 00:30:18,500
We should...
667
00:30:31,582 --> 00:30:33,217
First of all,
this is completely ridiculous.
668
00:30:33,250 --> 00:30:34,585
Richard's a good editor.
669
00:30:34,616 --> 00:30:36,451
No, he's not you,
but he'll do fine.
670
00:30:36,487 --> 00:30:38,255
Dude, we don't need
another editor.
671
00:30:38,288 --> 00:30:40,355
Apparently, we do. You came
this close to missing deadline.
672
00:30:40,390 --> 00:30:41,692
No, see, you don't understand.
673
00:30:41,726 --> 00:30:43,558
My computer crashed, like,
a hundred times.
674
00:30:43,594 --> 00:30:45,126
Oh, come on.
675
00:30:45,162 --> 00:30:46,730
Plus, she gives me,
like, a million notes.
676
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:49,566
And at the end of that, she asks
me to do it all over again.
677
00:30:49,598 --> 00:30:51,101
Never slowed you down before.
678
00:30:51,134 --> 00:30:53,568
You know, you know
I get paid per episode.
679
00:30:53,604 --> 00:30:55,740
Bruh, you're messing
with my money.
680
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:58,776
Hey, whoa, whoa. Can we have a
conversation about this, though?
681
00:30:58,808 --> 00:31:00,778
- Is that okay?
- I'll be right there.
682
00:31:00,810 --> 00:31:02,412
Look, it came from the network.
683
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:04,114
What do you want me to do?
684
00:31:04,145 --> 00:31:05,682
Rosie's tough enough
when we're on schedule.
685
00:31:05,717 --> 00:31:07,182
Dude, this is messed up.
686
00:31:07,217 --> 00:31:08,684
Is it the UTOO stuff?
687
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,820
I saw you shot a couple
of videos here in the room.
688
00:31:10,855 --> 00:31:12,489
Is that what's distracting you?
689
00:31:12,521 --> 00:31:14,726
It was, like, two videos.
It took two seconds.
690
00:31:14,759 --> 00:31:16,393
Sorry about that. Cue it up.
691
00:31:16,424 --> 00:31:17,760
Dude, this is so wack.
692
00:31:17,795 --> 00:31:20,262
Explain to me, what am I
supposed to do all week?
693
00:31:20,297 --> 00:31:22,700
Ben, I've got work to do. I...
694
00:31:22,732 --> 00:31:24,601
Fix a toilet.
695
00:31:24,634 --> 00:31:26,769
Fix a toilet?
Okay, so here's the thing.
696
00:31:26,804 --> 00:31:29,137
- I'm the editor for Richard.
- See you, Ben.
697
00:31:29,172 --> 00:31:31,709
He probably broke the toilet.
This is wack, dude.
698
00:31:31,741 --> 00:31:34,344
Why is
"abbreviation" such a long word?
699
00:31:34,376 --> 00:31:36,645
Why is there no mirrors
in the self-checkout?
700
00:31:36,681 --> 00:31:38,448
Can I call a white duck
a quacker?
701
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,784
I got friends who are white.
702
00:31:39,817 --> 00:31:41,483
When a dog is
wearing clothes...
703
00:31:41,518 --> 00:31:42,653
Mm.
704
00:31:42,685 --> 00:31:44,452
- Hi, man.
- Hey.
705
00:31:44,488 --> 00:31:46,656
Mickey. What's up, man? Almost
didn't see you there, man.
706
00:31:46,691 --> 00:31:49,661
- Dude, you're really funny.
- Thanks, man.
707
00:31:49,692 --> 00:31:52,095
Um, I used to be a comic.
708
00:31:52,127 --> 00:31:53,163
What? No way.
709
00:31:53,194 --> 00:31:54,529
- Yeah.
- That's awesome.
710
00:31:54,565 --> 00:31:56,298
Yeah, um, but it's not anything
711
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:57,835
that keeps me
from my work around here.
712
00:31:57,867 --> 00:31:59,634
I work really hard
around here, man.
713
00:31:59,671 --> 00:32:02,137
Dude, I loved your videos.
Loved 'em, yeah.
714
00:32:02,172 --> 00:32:04,207
I just had no idea
you were a comic.
715
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,809
Man, here's the crazy thing
about those videos, dude,
716
00:32:06,844 --> 00:32:09,479
is I actually thought
the first one would be the one.
717
00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,346
But everybody likes
the toilet video.
718
00:32:11,381 --> 00:32:13,750
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, that one was great.
719
00:32:13,785 --> 00:32:16,219
- They're all great.
- Dude, I love it, man.
720
00:32:16,251 --> 00:32:19,423
Comedy?
It's where my heart is, man.
721
00:32:19,454 --> 00:32:20,656
Yeah, I can tell, man.
Well, hey, man,
722
00:32:20,692 --> 00:32:21,857
I subscribed, I shared it.
723
00:32:21,893 --> 00:32:23,425
Dude. Yo, thanks, man.
724
00:32:23,460 --> 00:32:25,162
I really appreciate that.
725
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:26,829
Yeah, for sure.
So if comedy's your thing,
726
00:32:26,864 --> 00:32:29,164
dude, why aren't you out there
running with it?
727
00:32:30,902 --> 00:32:32,868
It was my dad, man.
728
00:32:32,903 --> 00:32:34,605
He was a comic.
729
00:32:34,636 --> 00:32:36,772
Leonard Marcus.
You ever heard of him?
730
00:32:36,807 --> 00:32:39,742
- Mm-mm.
- He was pretty funny, man.
731
00:32:39,777 --> 00:32:42,346
He was a big drinker,
too, though,
732
00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:44,181
just like his dad.
733
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:47,182
As soon as I turned, like,
18 years old,
734
00:32:47,217 --> 00:32:48,617
I wanted to be just like him.
735
00:32:48,653 --> 00:32:50,820
Yeah, so,
I started doing comedy.
736
00:32:50,855 --> 00:32:53,323
My dad, man...
737
00:32:53,355 --> 00:32:55,759
he's, like,
20 years into the game.
738
00:32:55,791 --> 00:33:00,195
He books the biggest show ever...
and I kid you not...
739
00:33:00,230 --> 00:33:02,298
he's on his way
to The Tonight Show.
740
00:33:02,332 --> 00:33:04,736
He's at a red light...
741
00:33:04,769 --> 00:33:06,769
and his heart explodes.
742
00:33:07,939 --> 00:33:09,905
That's how they described it.
743
00:33:09,941 --> 00:33:11,875
Dude. Man.
744
00:33:11,909 --> 00:33:14,277
So I grieved for a while,
745
00:33:14,309 --> 00:33:16,413
and then, you know,
I just get back at it, man.
746
00:33:16,444 --> 00:33:17,882
I start hitting clubs.
747
00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:19,383
And the club owners are like,
748
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:20,916
"Wow. Your dad was funny,
but you..."
749
00:33:20,951 --> 00:33:22,787
Now they...
Like, they're calling me,
750
00:33:22,818 --> 00:33:25,255
like, the next Damon Wayans,
Eddie Murphy.
751
00:33:25,288 --> 00:33:27,892
Then I start meeting
these women, right?
752
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:29,925
They're, like,
in their 30s and 40s.
753
00:33:29,961 --> 00:33:32,193
And they knew my pops.
754
00:33:32,229 --> 00:33:33,798
Like, they really knew my pops.
755
00:33:33,829 --> 00:33:36,333
They start showing me pictures
of them hanging out, man,
756
00:33:36,365 --> 00:33:38,335
and then they'd show me pictures
of kids, man.
757
00:33:38,366 --> 00:33:40,303
And they're telling me they're
my half brothers and sisters.
758
00:33:40,336 --> 00:33:41,873
And I just...
759
00:33:41,904 --> 00:33:45,607
I don't know what to do, man,
so I tell my moms.
760
00:33:45,642 --> 00:33:46,876
That was a bad idea.
761
00:33:46,911 --> 00:33:48,612
She falls into depression.
762
00:33:48,644 --> 00:33:51,749
She just can't handle it, man,
and two years later...
763
00:33:54,482 --> 00:33:56,519
...she takes her own life, yo.
764
00:33:56,553 --> 00:33:58,954
Wow. That's... Wow.
765
00:33:58,990 --> 00:34:00,958
Yeah.
766
00:34:00,990 --> 00:34:02,992
After that, man, it was like...
767
00:34:03,027 --> 00:34:04,760
like nothing was funny anymore,
you know?
768
00:34:04,796 --> 00:34:06,327
I just quit, yo.
769
00:34:06,363 --> 00:34:08,565
What? Comedy?
770
00:34:10,034 --> 00:34:12,235
Yeah, that, too.
771
00:34:20,844 --> 00:34:22,411
Yo, this is Ben.
772
00:34:22,445 --> 00:34:25,315
Hi. Is this Selfie Dad?
773
00:34:25,347 --> 00:34:27,684
Um, yeah, this is...
this is Selfie Dad.
774
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,985
Who's this?
775
00:34:29,018 --> 00:34:30,987
Hey, I'm Laurie Swanson.
776
00:34:31,021 --> 00:34:34,391
I manage content for a website
called LaughLoud.com.
777
00:34:34,422 --> 00:34:37,994
Uh, well, first off,
we love you. You're hysterical.
778
00:34:38,027 --> 00:34:40,262
Oh. Well, thank you...
779
00:34:40,297 --> 00:34:42,398
uh, Laurie. Thank you. Wow.
780
00:34:42,431 --> 00:34:45,469
Yeah. Look, we want to... we
wanted to get your permission
781
00:34:45,501 --> 00:34:48,905
to embed that, uh...
the video, the toilet one?
782
00:34:48,940 --> 00:34:50,875
How-how not to fix a toilet?
783
00:34:50,907 --> 00:34:53,476
Uh, we'd like to embed it
onto our page,
784
00:34:53,510 --> 00:34:55,311
and we'll put a link
back to yours.
785
00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:56,713
Does that work?
786
00:34:56,748 --> 00:34:58,414
Yes.
787
00:34:58,447 --> 00:35:00,282
Yeah, absolutely.
That sounds great.
788
00:35:00,317 --> 00:35:02,385
Laurie, let's do it. Yeah.
789
00:35:02,418 --> 00:35:03,788
Yay! Thank you.
Thank you so much.
790
00:35:03,820 --> 00:35:05,288
Look, we also want
to do an interview
791
00:35:05,322 --> 00:35:06,791
with you at some point.
792
00:35:06,824 --> 00:35:09,425
Do you have any other videos
in the works?
793
00:35:09,458 --> 00:35:12,864
Yeah. We, um...
we absolutely do, for sure.
794
00:35:14,065 --> 00:35:16,768
♪ Nobody knows my name ♪
795
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,568
♪ I've been losing
at this game ♪
796
00:35:19,603 --> 00:35:22,572
♪ And the lie just seems
more lame from day to day ♪
797
00:35:22,606 --> 00:35:26,043
♪ And it's all a crying shame
but I got to take the blame ♪
798
00:35:26,077 --> 00:35:30,715
♪ I've been losing at this game
and nobody knows my name... ♪
799
00:35:30,748 --> 00:35:32,083
Fix stuff.
800
00:35:32,114 --> 00:35:35,518
'Cause I fix stuff,
and I do it funny, so...
801
00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:36,887
Oh.
802
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,054
Boom.
803
00:35:44,628 --> 00:35:46,864
Boom.
804
00:35:46,898 --> 00:35:48,331
I'm Selfie Dad.
805
00:35:48,364 --> 00:35:49,867
Remember how
I fixed the toilet?
806
00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:51,936
Turns out, I could fix a car.
807
00:35:51,969 --> 00:35:53,536
So, number one, first thing
you want to do...
808
00:35:53,570 --> 00:35:55,106
need to have a car.
809
00:35:55,139 --> 00:35:56,907
If you find yourself
on a bus for some reason,
810
00:35:56,940 --> 00:35:58,474
this video is not
gonna help you.
811
00:35:58,507 --> 00:35:59,943
So now, you got to get
into the garage.
812
00:35:59,976 --> 00:36:02,411
Oh, man. I mean...
813
00:36:02,445 --> 00:36:03,880
Oh, man.
814
00:36:03,914 --> 00:36:05,614
We're gonna fix that next week.
815
00:36:05,648 --> 00:36:07,050
So now,
we're gonna pop the hood.
816
00:36:07,083 --> 00:36:09,585
We'll go ahead and pop it.
So easy. It's right here.
817
00:36:13,157 --> 00:36:14,692
Oh.
818
00:36:16,525 --> 00:36:18,128
♪ Ah... ♪
819
00:36:18,161 --> 00:36:20,597
Nothing works better
than a little evil cat
820
00:36:20,630 --> 00:36:22,532
made out of cement.
You set that there
821
00:36:22,565 --> 00:36:24,068
so it'll have
the right gravitude.
822
00:36:24,101 --> 00:36:26,036
I just... Aah!
823
00:36:27,402 --> 00:36:28,972
That is how...
824
00:36:29,005 --> 00:36:31,641
you fix... a car.
825
00:36:34,443 --> 00:36:37,480
Hey! How you guys doing?
Where you been?
826
00:36:37,514 --> 00:36:39,983
Hannah's play.
827
00:36:40,016 --> 00:36:42,152
Hannah, listen,
your play... Grease.
828
00:36:42,186 --> 00:36:44,922
I am so sorry.
I got all caught up at work.
829
00:36:44,956 --> 00:36:47,356
- I was busy.
- It's cool. I'm okay.
830
00:36:50,994 --> 00:36:53,429
Where were you?
I called you, like, five times.
831
00:36:53,463 --> 00:36:55,565
- I know. Rosie was being impossible.
- You can't pick up
832
00:36:55,599 --> 00:36:57,134
- the phone and call your wife?
- My phone was on silent,
833
00:36:57,168 --> 00:36:58,936
there's producers in the room.
834
00:36:58,969 --> 00:37:01,137
Like, what am I supposed to do?
I was gonna come right home
835
00:37:01,172 --> 00:37:02,907
and then, phew, I was gonna
be at the play, but...
836
00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:04,474
You posted another video?
837
00:37:04,507 --> 00:37:07,043
I thought
you were gonna let me edit.
838
00:37:07,077 --> 00:37:08,945
It just took, like, two seconds.
839
00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:11,481
- I had to get it up, so, uh...
- Ben, can I
840
00:37:11,514 --> 00:37:13,083
talk to you
in the other room, please?
841
00:37:14,818 --> 00:37:16,987
Guilty. Guilty.
That's what I did.
842
00:37:17,021 --> 00:37:19,155
I made a video
instead of seeing Hannah's play.
843
00:37:19,190 --> 00:37:22,159
Guilty. Now what?
844
00:37:23,728 --> 00:37:25,195
Jesse, please, listen.
845
00:37:25,228 --> 00:37:27,164
I'm getting a second chance.
846
00:37:27,197 --> 00:37:29,431
Please hear that.
847
00:37:36,206 --> 00:37:38,474
"I want Rosie stuff on..."
I'm tired of it.
848
00:37:38,507 --> 00:37:40,643
Hey. What's up, bruh?
849
00:37:40,677 --> 00:37:42,213
What are you doing here?
Thought you had the week off.
850
00:37:42,246 --> 00:37:45,782
Oh, uh, yeah, I'm just doing
some personal work, man.
851
00:37:45,815 --> 00:37:48,485
Oh, dude, I shared your, uh,
car-fixing video.
852
00:37:48,518 --> 00:37:50,788
Hilarious. How do you come up
with that stuff?
853
00:37:50,820 --> 00:37:52,722
Just having fun, really, man.
854
00:37:52,757 --> 00:37:54,992
The crazy part is,
it's those how-to videos
855
00:37:55,025 --> 00:37:57,994
that really got popping,
and, uh,
856
00:37:58,027 --> 00:37:59,963
I don't really know "how to."
You know?
857
00:37:59,996 --> 00:38:01,463
- Works, man. I loved it.
- Crazy.
858
00:38:01,498 --> 00:38:04,534
- Loved it.
- So what's up, man?
859
00:38:04,567 --> 00:38:06,835
Oh, um, if you're not using it,
860
00:38:06,871 --> 00:38:09,239
I'm supposed to install
Final Cut on your system.
861
00:38:09,273 --> 00:38:12,208
All right, man. Let me get out
of your way here, bruh.
862
00:38:12,242 --> 00:38:13,911
Cool.
863
00:38:13,945 --> 00:38:16,146
Oh, before I forget,
here's the, uh...
864
00:38:16,179 --> 00:38:17,949
here's that book
I was telling you about.
865
00:38:17,981 --> 00:38:19,817
I think you'll really like it.
866
00:38:19,849 --> 00:38:22,152
Oh. Yeah.
867
00:38:22,186 --> 00:38:23,820
Thanks, man.
868
00:38:23,853 --> 00:38:25,989
This looks like one
I actually haven't read yet.
869
00:38:26,023 --> 00:38:27,925
You know?
870
00:38:27,958 --> 00:38:29,927
Yeah.
871
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,628
- Thanks, man. Appreciate that.
- So, obviously,
872
00:38:32,663 --> 00:38:35,166
you know, he starts
with why we need the Bible,
873
00:38:35,199 --> 00:38:37,969
then offers some tips on,
you know, how to read it,
874
00:38:38,001 --> 00:38:39,536
you know, how to get the most
out of it.
875
00:38:39,568 --> 00:38:41,838
Oh, okay. Cool.
876
00:38:41,871 --> 00:38:45,775
Hey, would it be okay if I wrote
about you for my paper?
877
00:38:45,809 --> 00:38:47,244
What are you talking about?
878
00:38:47,277 --> 00:38:49,112
Yeah, your story.
879
00:38:49,146 --> 00:38:52,817
You know, how a guy goes from
where he was to where you are.
880
00:38:52,849 --> 00:38:54,851
And I wouldn't use
your real name.
881
00:38:54,885 --> 00:38:56,920
I'd just... I'd call you
"The Chainbreaker."
882
00:38:56,954 --> 00:38:59,255
Chainbreak... What?
883
00:38:59,289 --> 00:39:01,056
What are you talking about, man?
884
00:39:01,092 --> 00:39:02,927
I mean, here you are,
this comic.
885
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:04,795
Parents weren't believers.
886
00:39:04,829 --> 00:39:06,262
I'm guessing you didn't grow up
887
00:39:06,297 --> 00:39:07,931
with a lot
of Christian role models.
888
00:39:07,965 --> 00:39:10,201
Your dad was who he was.
889
00:39:10,233 --> 00:39:13,036
You could have followed
in his footsteps in every way,
890
00:39:13,070 --> 00:39:16,072
but you didn't. Why?
891
00:39:16,106 --> 00:39:18,009
I don't know...
892
00:39:18,041 --> 00:39:20,010
God's grace, man.
893
00:39:20,043 --> 00:39:23,847
You go through all that, and
God just plucks you out of it.
894
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,717
And now, I mean, you're living
your... living your life,
895
00:39:27,751 --> 00:39:29,219
raising your family
to love Jesus.
896
00:39:29,253 --> 00:39:30,855
Dude, you broke the chain.
897
00:39:30,887 --> 00:39:32,789
Look, Mickey,
here's the thing, man.
898
00:39:32,822 --> 00:39:34,623
I just got to be real with you.
899
00:39:34,657 --> 00:39:36,226
I think you're an awesome guy.
900
00:39:36,260 --> 00:39:38,561
I mean, for real, at first,
901
00:39:38,594 --> 00:39:40,297
I just thought you was one
of them Christian dudes,
902
00:39:40,331 --> 00:39:42,099
like, an oversaved Christian.
903
00:39:42,132 --> 00:39:44,902
Like, you only eat pizza
that's been delivered.
904
00:39:44,934 --> 00:39:46,902
You only got sheets on your bed,
905
00:39:46,936 --> 00:39:48,905
'cause you say
Jesus is your comforter.
906
00:39:48,938 --> 00:39:50,306
That's funny.
907
00:39:50,340 --> 00:39:52,710
- That was good.
- Here's my point, man. As far
908
00:39:52,742 --> 00:39:55,079
as me breaking chains
and stuff, bruh...
909
00:39:55,112 --> 00:39:57,181
...you just got the wrong dude.
910
00:39:57,213 --> 00:39:58,849
Hmm.
911
00:39:58,882 --> 00:40:00,617
Okay.
912
00:40:00,650 --> 00:40:03,253
Ben. Hey, there you are.
913
00:40:03,286 --> 00:40:06,123
Uh, listen,
Steven wants to see you.
914
00:40:06,157 --> 00:40:08,659
Oh, okay.
915
00:40:08,692 --> 00:40:09,860
You know, he's,
916
00:40:09,893 --> 00:40:13,063
he's... he's always provided
for us.
917
00:40:14,097 --> 00:40:15,900
But he's so extreme, I...
918
00:40:15,931 --> 00:40:18,202
It's like he's an addict.
919
00:40:18,235 --> 00:40:19,635
An addict?
920
00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:20,838
Yeah, he acts like it.
921
00:40:22,706 --> 00:40:25,242
Jesse, how much
do you pray for him?
922
00:40:26,277 --> 00:40:27,978
Yeah, I-I...
923
00:40:28,012 --> 00:40:30,347
Probably not as much
as I should.
924
00:40:30,380 --> 00:40:31,815
Okay, not at all.
925
00:40:33,951 --> 00:40:35,985
We can't change them.
926
00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:39,989
And sometimes the harder we try,
the worse it makes things.
927
00:40:41,092 --> 00:40:43,059
We need God.
928
00:40:43,094 --> 00:40:48,032
And if we're not praying
for our husbands, who will?
929
00:40:49,431 --> 00:40:53,335
Have you ever seen
the movie War Room?
930
00:40:53,369 --> 00:40:55,873
I don't really like
Christian films.
931
00:40:59,210 --> 00:41:00,978
- Just...
- Oh.
932
00:41:04,815 --> 00:41:06,181
Hey, Carol.
933
00:41:06,217 --> 00:41:07,717
- How you doing? Cool.
- I'm good, good, good.
934
00:41:07,751 --> 00:41:09,186
- How's-how's Tom?
- Oh, he's good, good.
935
00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:10,753
Listen, we're finishing here,
936
00:41:10,788 --> 00:41:12,856
and I'll leave you family time.
937
00:41:12,889 --> 00:41:14,358
No, no-no, you don't have
to go anywhere
938
00:41:14,391 --> 00:41:16,059
'cause I'm-I'm,
I'm just gonna read the mail
939
00:41:16,092 --> 00:41:17,927
'cause I got this mail,
so I'm just gonna read this
940
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,195
and stuff, so...
941
00:41:19,230 --> 00:41:20,396
Okay.
942
00:41:20,431 --> 00:41:21,398
It's gonna be good.
943
00:41:21,431 --> 00:41:22,867
You, you guys are female.
944
00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,068
I'm...
945
00:41:24,101 --> 00:41:26,070
Okay, I'm gonna go.
946
00:41:26,103 --> 00:41:28,672
Can we just pray
for him right now?
947
00:41:28,706 --> 00:41:29,672
Right now.
948
00:41:29,706 --> 00:41:31,208
Thank you.
949
00:41:37,481 --> 00:41:39,047
Father,
950
00:41:39,083 --> 00:41:43,219
I pray that You will help
Jesse to be gentle
951
00:41:43,253 --> 00:41:46,956
and respectful toward Ben,
no matter what,
952
00:41:46,989 --> 00:41:51,460
and I pray, Father,
that she will find her joy
953
00:41:51,494 --> 00:41:53,831
in You.
954
00:41:53,864 --> 00:41:55,398
Hey, Carol gone?
955
00:41:55,431 --> 00:41:56,833
Yeah.
956
00:41:56,867 --> 00:41:58,402
- Cool.
- Um, Ben, listen.
957
00:41:58,434 --> 00:42:00,402
- I...
- You guys have a good talk?
958
00:42:00,436 --> 00:42:02,206
- It was good, I just want to say that I...
- So, look.
959
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:03,440
I got something
I need to tell you.
960
00:42:03,474 --> 00:42:06,443
Uh... ah...
961
00:42:06,476 --> 00:42:07,443
I got fired,
962
00:42:07,478 --> 00:42:09,445
but before you flip out,
963
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:10,447
hear me out.
964
00:42:10,481 --> 00:42:12,016
Um, I've been running
965
00:42:12,047 --> 00:42:13,217
- some numbers, and...
- You got fired?!
966
00:42:13,250 --> 00:42:16,219
Whoa-whoa, don't, don't do
that thing where you flip out.
967
00:42:16,253 --> 00:42:17,353
- From your job?!
- I did, yes.
968
00:42:17,387 --> 00:42:19,456
Look, boom.
969
00:42:19,489 --> 00:42:20,724
First video check.
970
00:42:20,757 --> 00:42:22,126
Dad got fired?
971
00:42:22,159 --> 00:42:23,893
I just... that's what I...
I just said that.
972
00:42:23,927 --> 00:42:26,463
- I'm... I know it seems scary.
- This is for $43!
973
00:42:26,496 --> 00:42:29,431
The pay period was like two days
into the toilet video.
974
00:42:29,465 --> 00:42:32,436
The toilet video has gone kaboom
in a big way.
975
00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:34,271
But I don't understand
how they can fire you.
976
00:42:34,304 --> 00:42:35,838
So Dad did get fired?
977
00:42:35,873 --> 00:42:37,974
I really don't care
what Rosie has to say.
978
00:42:38,007 --> 00:42:40,177
- I know.
- You've won, like, every single award.
979
00:42:40,210 --> 00:42:43,047
How crazy would it be
if I dropped a video a week?
980
00:42:43,079 --> 00:42:44,315
Here comes your sister.
981
00:42:44,347 --> 00:42:45,849
- I got fired.
- What is going on?
982
00:42:45,882 --> 00:42:46,750
- Dad got fired.
- Yes, yes.
983
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:56,260
Yeah, absolutely,
Mickey, I get it.
984
00:42:56,293 --> 00:42:59,429
Nobody likes being fired,
but, hey, you know...
985
00:42:59,463 --> 00:43:01,831
Oh, yeah, and-and thanks,
man, for...
986
00:43:01,864 --> 00:43:03,032
Oh, the book?
987
00:43:03,067 --> 00:43:07,070
Yep, uh, yeah, I got that book
right here, for sure, man,
988
00:43:07,103 --> 00:43:08,405
so thanks for that.
989
00:43:08,438 --> 00:43:11,306
And, yes, text me,
call me anytime, man.
990
00:43:11,342 --> 00:43:13,077
We'll absolutely stay in touch.
991
00:43:13,110 --> 00:43:15,945
Okay. Yo, I appreciate you,
man, a lot.
992
00:43:15,980 --> 00:43:17,213
So thanks a lot, man, yep.
993
00:43:17,248 --> 00:43:20,016
Okay, bye.
994
00:43:23,820 --> 00:43:25,789
Are you wearing that to church?
995
00:43:25,822 --> 00:43:27,824
I-I'm not going to church.
996
00:43:27,858 --> 00:43:29,860
I got a lot of stuff to do.
You guys go ahead.
997
00:43:31,094 --> 00:43:33,429
Ben, did you buy more equipment?
998
00:43:33,463 --> 00:43:35,132
It's not just any equipment.
999
00:43:35,164 --> 00:43:36,431
It's Blackmagic.
1000
00:43:37,467 --> 00:43:39,268
My husband,
1001
00:43:39,302 --> 00:43:43,172
my beloved,
who I love and respect,
1002
00:43:43,206 --> 00:43:44,875
can you at least take a break
1003
00:43:44,907 --> 00:43:47,177
and come to church
with your family?
1004
00:43:48,311 --> 00:43:50,079
I'm gonna take a break.
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
1005
00:43:50,114 --> 00:43:51,914
I'm gonna hook this up,
I'm gonna have Internet.
1006
00:43:51,949 --> 00:43:53,884
Maybe I'll just jump in
and watch online.
1007
00:43:53,916 --> 00:43:55,552
Yo no puedo creer.
1008
00:44:00,989 --> 00:44:03,126
Hello again,
this is Selfie Dad.
1009
00:44:03,159 --> 00:44:04,862
Today we're gonna be
hanging a light.
1010
00:44:04,893 --> 00:44:08,331
You want to make sure your
chains are equally set apart
1011
00:44:08,364 --> 00:44:11,101
and that you already have
the screw in place.
1012
00:44:11,135 --> 00:44:13,570
Put this on the screw,
making sure it's secure...
1013
00:44:17,106 --> 00:44:18,375
This is Selfie Dad,
1014
00:44:18,409 --> 00:44:20,376
and today I want to show you
1015
00:44:20,411 --> 00:44:23,079
how to clean up glass
before your wife comes home.
1016
00:44:37,161 --> 00:44:39,228
So, what can people
expect when they visit your page?
1017
00:44:39,262 --> 00:44:40,931
Well, first of all,
1018
00:44:40,963 --> 00:44:44,201
they can expect a new video
every Tuesday, right,
1019
00:44:44,233 --> 00:44:46,570
and if they like it, they should
probably tell their friends,
1020
00:44:46,603 --> 00:44:49,373
and if they don't like it, they
probably don't got no friends.
1021
00:44:51,909 --> 00:44:52,943
Please!
1022
00:44:54,545 --> 00:44:56,612
We are going to create
a lot of content.
1023
00:44:56,646 --> 00:44:58,382
No, I'm the one that's excited.
1024
00:44:58,414 --> 00:45:00,016
I just got
my first endorsement deal.
1025
00:45:00,050 --> 00:45:01,251
Cool.
1026
00:45:01,284 --> 00:45:04,152
If you want to fix it right...
gablow...
1027
00:45:04,188 --> 00:45:07,023
you need to get yourself
some Packer Tools...
1028
00:45:07,056 --> 00:45:10,260
tools for what you need to fix
and tools for life.
1029
00:45:10,293 --> 00:45:11,893
It is the Digital Media Awards.
1030
00:45:11,929 --> 00:45:13,896
It's gonna be the best one yet,
you guys.
1031
00:45:13,931 --> 00:45:18,001
The nominees this year are:
Lanie Basinger,
1032
00:45:18,034 --> 00:45:20,402
Ryan Kwan, Brian Perez,
1033
00:45:20,436 --> 00:45:23,340
aka Tuba Luba, and, of course,
1034
00:45:23,373 --> 00:45:26,309
- Ben Marcus, aka Selfie Dad.
- Oh, yes, I am the man, yes.
1035
00:45:26,342 --> 00:45:27,478
I don't see The Jamie Grace Show
in there.
1036
00:45:27,510 --> 00:45:29,346
It's fine, it's just a typo.
1037
00:45:29,380 --> 00:45:31,315
- Yes.
- So make sure you tune in on the 11th
1038
00:45:31,347 --> 00:45:32,949
to see who wins.
Aah!
1039
00:45:32,983 --> 00:45:35,351
The party's at Sophie's house...
1040
00:45:35,385 --> 00:45:39,188
well, her dad's house, but he's
traveling for work or something.
1041
00:45:39,222 --> 00:45:41,023
You should totally come.
1042
00:45:44,228 --> 00:45:46,130
I mean, I mean, her house is
1043
00:45:46,163 --> 00:45:47,664
only two blocks away
from my house.
1044
00:45:47,699 --> 00:45:49,666
I'll walk.
1045
00:45:49,701 --> 00:45:53,137
But you can pick me up
if you want.
1046
00:45:53,170 --> 00:45:54,570
And the winner
1047
00:45:54,605 --> 00:45:56,072
for Best New Comic...
as opposed to me.
1048
00:45:56,106 --> 00:45:57,273
You know,
I'm the best old comic.
1049
00:45:57,306 --> 00:46:00,210
Man, I started with the
Flintstones. Barney loved me.
1050
00:46:00,244 --> 00:46:02,179
Did my first two jokes
at the Last Supper.
1051
00:46:02,210 --> 00:46:06,250
Anyway, uh, for the winner
of UTOO's Best New Comic,
1052
00:46:06,282 --> 00:46:09,253
it is my man Ben Marcus,
Selfie Dad.
1053
00:46:24,534 --> 00:46:26,670
So, the company is Packer Tools.
1054
00:46:26,704 --> 00:46:28,304
- Yeah, man.
- Oh, man, see, that's sweet.
1055
00:46:28,338 --> 00:46:29,273
That's that butter right there.
1056
00:46:29,306 --> 00:46:32,074
You got to remember,
endorsements are key.
1057
00:46:32,108 --> 00:46:33,976
That's what I'm finding out.
So, how many you got?
1058
00:46:34,010 --> 00:46:35,411
Man, I got more endorsements
1059
00:46:35,445 --> 00:46:37,347
than Van Camp got
pork and beans.
1060
00:46:37,380 --> 00:46:38,547
You know what?
Last year they gave me
1061
00:46:38,581 --> 00:46:40,050
so much endorsement money,
1062
00:46:40,083 --> 00:46:41,585
when I went to deposit it
in the bank,
1063
00:46:41,617 --> 00:46:43,018
I was embarrassed.
1064
00:46:43,052 --> 00:46:45,121
Call my girl,
she'll give you 50% off.
1065
00:46:45,155 --> 00:46:49,460
Just tell her I sent you,
and... she's gonna love you.
1066
00:46:49,492 --> 00:46:50,695
Excuse me one second.
1067
00:46:50,728 --> 00:46:53,597
And the thing just blew up.
It kind of took off from there.
1068
00:46:53,630 --> 00:46:56,599
Yeah, next thing you know, boom,
and here we are today...
1069
00:46:56,632 --> 00:46:57,702
Hey, what's up?
I'm Ben.
1070
00:46:57,735 --> 00:46:59,503
Laurie Swanson, LaughLoud.com.
1071
00:46:59,536 --> 00:47:02,405
Oh, hey, right, yeah...
1072
00:47:02,438 --> 00:47:04,106
Congratulations.
I knew you'd win.
1073
00:47:04,141 --> 00:47:06,409
Thanks a lot. I really,
really appreciate that a lot.
1074
00:47:06,443 --> 00:47:08,780
This is Laurie...
she's an awesome interviewer,
1075
00:47:08,813 --> 00:47:10,614
yeah, and other things,
I'm sure.
1076
00:47:10,646 --> 00:47:13,016
So, where's Selfie Mom?
1077
00:47:13,050 --> 00:47:15,485
Yeah, she, she couldn't make it
tonight, unfortunately.
1078
00:47:15,518 --> 00:47:16,688
Aw.
1079
00:47:16,721 --> 00:47:18,121
Yeah.
1080
00:47:19,289 --> 00:47:20,757
Well, I wanted
1081
00:47:20,791 --> 00:47:25,128
to be a novelist like
Jane Austen, Margaret Mitchell.
1082
00:47:25,161 --> 00:47:27,764
Yeah, they're awesome,
they are, really.
1083
00:47:27,797 --> 00:47:30,032
You have no idea
who I'm talking about.
1084
00:47:30,067 --> 00:47:31,101
Oh, no, I do.
1085
00:47:31,134 --> 00:47:33,170
Um... Green Eggs and Ham?
1086
00:47:34,402 --> 00:47:35,572
- Yeah.
- Uh...
1087
00:47:35,606 --> 00:47:37,106
Same genre, right?
1088
00:47:37,139 --> 00:47:38,710
Not exactly.
1089
00:47:38,742 --> 00:47:41,311
Well, listen,
if you ever do read any of that,
1090
00:47:41,344 --> 00:47:44,047
uh, you want to make sure
you don't do it in a house
1091
00:47:44,081 --> 00:47:45,148
or with a mouse.
1092
00:47:45,181 --> 00:47:47,117
You know.
1093
00:47:47,150 --> 00:47:48,686
I'll try not to.
1094
00:48:00,496 --> 00:48:03,367
Okay, we definitely have to do
a follow-up interview.
1095
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,536
Okay, yeah, okay, sure.
1096
00:48:05,568 --> 00:48:06,637
How about right now?
1097
00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:08,170
Now?
1098
00:48:08,204 --> 00:48:09,539
Yeah, why not?
1099
00:48:09,572 --> 00:48:11,474
I mean, are-are you staying
at the hotel?
1100
00:48:11,507 --> 00:48:13,409
'Cause I want to get out
of these clothes.
1101
00:48:14,777 --> 00:48:17,715
No!
1102
00:48:17,748 --> 00:48:19,181
I mean, are you in a hurry...
1103
00:48:19,215 --> 00:48:20,818
I mean, are you
in a hurry to leave?
1104
00:48:20,851 --> 00:48:22,385
I didn't mean it like that.
1105
00:48:22,418 --> 00:48:25,556
Oh, yeah, I know
you didn't mean that, I know.
1106
00:48:27,556 --> 00:48:30,393
Unless you wanted me to.
1107
00:48:34,130 --> 00:48:35,867
Oh.
1108
00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:37,467
Oh, hey, what?
1109
00:48:41,538 --> 00:48:42,773
Sorry.
1110
00:48:44,541 --> 00:48:46,844
I'm sorry, that was a, uh...
1111
00:48:46,878 --> 00:48:48,846
So, uh...
1112
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:52,449
um... what were
we talking about?
1113
00:48:53,483 --> 00:48:56,485
I don't know.
1114
00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:57,722
You tell me.
1115
00:49:00,925 --> 00:49:02,726
Yeah.
1116
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,429
Hey, maybe, maybe we should do
the interview another time.
1117
00:49:37,929 --> 00:49:40,429
Hey, you're awake.
1118
00:49:43,233 --> 00:49:45,902
What in the world?
1119
00:49:45,936 --> 00:49:48,572
I made your favorite.
1120
00:49:50,574 --> 00:49:53,911
It's not every day
that your husband wins
1121
00:49:53,945 --> 00:49:56,813
New Comic of the Year.
1122
00:49:58,614 --> 00:50:00,652
I've been such a tonto,
haven't I?
1123
00:50:00,684 --> 00:50:02,920
Yeah.
1124
00:50:02,954 --> 00:50:04,688
But so have I.
1125
00:50:04,722 --> 00:50:06,422
I should've been
more supportive.
1126
00:50:07,556 --> 00:50:09,559
And I love you.
1127
00:50:12,262 --> 00:50:13,530
We are celebrating, okay?
1128
00:50:13,563 --> 00:50:15,800
And... I am gonna
wake up Hannah,
1129
00:50:15,833 --> 00:50:17,934
'cause she loves my pancakes.
1130
00:50:35,485 --> 00:50:36,887
So...
1131
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,422
how was your night?
1132
00:50:42,726 --> 00:50:44,293
Hey, listen, uh...
1133
00:50:44,327 --> 00:50:46,329
we're ahead on most
of our videos right now,
1134
00:50:46,362 --> 00:50:48,699
but, uh, pretty soon
we'll have to film some more
1135
00:50:48,733 --> 00:50:51,969
and, uh... I want you
to be the editor, okay?
1136
00:50:52,003 --> 00:50:54,402
You always say that.
1137
00:50:54,438 --> 00:50:56,840
But you kind of always lie.
1138
00:50:59,275 --> 00:51:01,777
I can't find her.
1139
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:05,514
Hannah?
1140
00:51:05,547 --> 00:51:07,317
Wait, what do you mean?
1141
00:51:07,349 --> 00:51:08,318
Hannah?
1142
00:51:08,351 --> 00:51:09,485
It's your dad.
1143
00:51:09,518 --> 00:51:11,588
I need you to call me now,
please.
1144
00:51:11,621 --> 00:51:13,989
Hi, Mrs. Weissman,
it's Jesse Marcus.
1145
00:51:14,025 --> 00:51:16,592
I'm-I'm Hannah's mom.
Remember we met at the play?
1146
00:51:16,626 --> 00:51:18,527
Online, Facebook, all of that.
1147
00:51:18,561 --> 00:51:19,664
I thought maybe
there was some sort
1148
00:51:19,697 --> 00:51:20,797
of school activity or something.
1149
00:51:20,831 --> 00:51:21,931
I know she's not picking up.
1150
00:51:21,965 --> 00:51:24,434
I have a phone, too, okay?
1151
00:51:24,467 --> 00:51:26,536
I'm-a go find her.
1152
00:51:48,525 --> 00:51:50,695
So what did the police say?
1153
00:51:51,929 --> 00:51:54,797
They said that girls her age...
1154
00:51:54,831 --> 00:51:56,867
they run away with a...
1155
00:51:56,900 --> 00:51:58,034
a boy.
1156
00:51:58,068 --> 00:52:00,335
There's no boy.
1157
00:52:00,369 --> 00:52:02,405
Right?
1158
00:52:02,438 --> 00:52:04,007
Maybe.
1159
00:52:05,108 --> 00:52:07,643
I met him at her play.
1160
00:52:13,918 --> 00:52:17,487
But then they asked
for her dental records.
1161
00:52:21,893 --> 00:52:23,860
Is Hannah gone forever?
1162
00:52:23,893 --> 00:52:25,427
Do not even, don't think that.
1163
00:52:25,460 --> 00:52:26,563
She's-she's fine.
1164
00:52:26,596 --> 00:52:28,931
Everything's gonna be okay.
1165
00:52:30,567 --> 00:52:32,103
So what do we do?
1166
00:52:32,135 --> 00:52:34,038
We do what the police said.
1167
00:52:34,070 --> 00:52:36,472
We-we-we wait.
1168
00:52:36,505 --> 00:52:38,943
Carol and Tom
1169
00:52:38,976 --> 00:52:42,679
will be here in about
a half an hour.
1170
00:52:42,713 --> 00:52:44,815
I was just, uh...
1171
00:52:44,849 --> 00:52:46,851
hoping that...
1172
00:52:48,617 --> 00:52:50,085
I think we should pray.
1173
00:52:52,621 --> 00:52:54,090
Okay.
1174
00:52:54,125 --> 00:52:56,626
Okay.
1175
00:52:58,695 --> 00:53:01,032
Okay, um...
1176
00:53:02,699 --> 00:53:06,402
Okay, uh, Dear God, um...
1177
00:53:08,637 --> 00:53:11,141
I, uh...
1178
00:53:11,175 --> 00:53:14,045
I don't, I don't understand
what's going on.
1179
00:53:14,077 --> 00:53:16,746
I just, I just know
1180
00:53:16,780 --> 00:53:18,114
that You know.
1181
00:53:21,918 --> 00:53:23,855
You know where Hannah is.
1182
00:53:25,789 --> 00:53:27,891
Lord, and I'm praying that...
1183
00:53:27,925 --> 00:53:29,458
we're praying...
1184
00:53:30,862 --> 00:53:32,762
...that You will keep her safe,
1185
00:53:32,797 --> 00:53:34,797
that You bring her home.
1186
00:53:37,869 --> 00:53:40,570
Bring her home.
1187
00:53:40,603 --> 00:53:42,773
Amen.
1188
00:53:42,806 --> 00:53:44,809
Amen.
1189
00:53:49,512 --> 00:53:51,081
- Oh!
- Hannah!
1190
00:53:51,114 --> 00:53:53,951
Oh, my baby, oh, my baby!
1191
00:53:53,985 --> 00:53:55,987
Oh...
1192
00:54:00,724 --> 00:54:03,059
Have you done this before?
1193
00:54:06,527 --> 00:54:08,699
Y-Yes.
1194
00:54:08,733 --> 00:54:11,601
I'm usually back
before you get up.
1195
00:54:13,503 --> 00:54:15,106
The party went late.
1196
00:54:15,139 --> 00:54:19,010
And... I accidentally
fell asleep.
1197
00:54:19,043 --> 00:54:20,945
Hannah, you really scared us.
1198
00:54:20,978 --> 00:54:23,413
- I'm sorry.
- What was it, was it a boy?
1199
00:54:24,815 --> 00:54:27,717
Yes.
1200
00:54:27,751 --> 00:54:30,085
The one from the play?
1201
00:54:30,121 --> 00:54:32,989
Yeah.
1202
00:54:33,023 --> 00:54:35,625
But nothing happened, Dad.
1203
00:54:35,659 --> 00:54:38,427
Turns out...
he's a massive loser.
1204
00:54:41,831 --> 00:54:43,565
Am I grounded forever?
1205
00:54:43,599 --> 00:54:45,001
I don't know.
1206
00:54:45,036 --> 00:54:47,204
Talk about that later.
1207
00:55:07,692 --> 00:55:09,893
Hey, Mickey, what's up, man?
1208
00:55:09,927 --> 00:55:12,063
Aw, yeah, man, we're...
1209
00:55:12,096 --> 00:55:14,097
I'm good, man, I'm good.
How you doing?
1210
00:55:15,132 --> 00:55:16,733
So what...
1211
00:55:16,766 --> 00:55:18,802
what made you call right now?
1212
00:55:18,835 --> 00:55:22,039
Like... like, now.
1213
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:25,608
I mean, she's sorry and...
1214
00:55:25,641 --> 00:55:27,878
everything's okay, but...
1215
00:55:27,911 --> 00:55:31,282
I feel like I don't
even know her.
1216
00:55:31,315 --> 00:55:33,284
And my son...
1217
00:55:33,317 --> 00:55:35,952
he thinks I'm a liar.
1218
00:55:35,987 --> 00:55:38,222
And he's right.
1219
00:55:38,255 --> 00:55:41,092
And my wife...
1220
00:55:42,159 --> 00:55:43,226
Let's just say I came
1221
00:55:43,260 --> 00:55:45,561
so close last night.
1222
00:55:46,831 --> 00:55:48,565
My bad, man, I shouldn't...
1223
00:55:48,597 --> 00:55:50,266
I don't mean to dump
all this stuff on you, man.
1224
00:55:50,300 --> 00:55:53,237
No, no, it's okay, really.
1225
00:55:53,268 --> 00:55:56,039
I guess I'm just not
the guy you think I am, man.
1226
00:55:56,072 --> 00:55:57,842
Look, man, I know you're...
1227
00:55:57,875 --> 00:56:00,811
You're a mess.
1228
00:56:00,844 --> 00:56:03,047
We're all a mess.
1229
00:56:03,079 --> 00:56:05,547
That's why we need Jesus.
1230
00:56:05,581 --> 00:56:07,952
I mean, He's the way,
He's-He's...
1231
00:56:07,985 --> 00:56:09,686
He's the only way.
1232
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:11,989
Well, He's the way, man.
I just...
1233
00:56:12,023 --> 00:56:13,757
Look, God is, um...
1234
00:56:13,791 --> 00:56:17,960
Sometimes you can relate God
to a navigational system.
1235
00:56:17,994 --> 00:56:19,663
You put in the directions.
1236
00:56:19,697 --> 00:56:21,597
It says to go two blocks
and turn left,
1237
00:56:21,630 --> 00:56:23,701
but you go two blocks
and you turn right.
1238
00:56:23,733 --> 00:56:26,635
Now that doesn't
change the destination.
1239
00:56:26,670 --> 00:56:29,340
It just recalculates
what you need to do
1240
00:56:29,373 --> 00:56:32,076
to get there
from where you are now.
1241
00:56:32,108 --> 00:56:34,677
And if we keep making
the wrong turns,
1242
00:56:34,710 --> 00:56:36,679
you know, the roads,
they-they change.
1243
00:56:36,713 --> 00:56:38,983
They get rougher.
1244
00:56:39,016 --> 00:56:41,152
But that's where Jesus comes in.
1245
00:56:41,184 --> 00:56:43,753
The Jesus of the Bible.
1246
00:56:43,788 --> 00:56:45,322
Yeah, well...
1247
00:56:45,356 --> 00:56:46,856
I don't...
1248
00:56:46,891 --> 00:56:49,693
I don't even know
where I got off track.
1249
00:56:50,994 --> 00:56:54,097
Maybe... 'cause I wanted
to be noticed
1250
00:56:54,130 --> 00:56:57,268
or I wanted to be somebody.
1251
00:56:57,300 --> 00:56:59,135
Then I come home,
1252
00:56:59,170 --> 00:57:01,672
I see my family and I know,
1253
00:57:01,704 --> 00:57:03,907
like, I know what
they need is they,
1254
00:57:03,940 --> 00:57:07,110
they need for me to be, like...
1255
00:57:07,143 --> 00:57:10,347
a father who...
1256
00:57:10,380 --> 00:57:13,851
you know, and-and he's there...
no matter if he can't be.
1257
00:57:13,884 --> 00:57:16,853
Because if he moves
like he needs to,
1258
00:57:16,887 --> 00:57:18,989
and then they're eating and...
1259
00:57:19,023 --> 00:57:21,358
you know, he's supplying
the stuff, but he's...
1260
00:57:21,391 --> 00:57:24,728
nurture,
and I got to be that...
1261
00:57:24,762 --> 00:57:25,996
you know?
1262
00:57:28,331 --> 00:57:31,768
What I think
you're trying to say is...
1263
00:57:31,802 --> 00:57:33,804
you love your family.
1264
00:57:36,005 --> 00:57:37,842
- Right?
- Yeah.
1265
00:57:37,875 --> 00:57:39,143
Absolutely.
1266
00:57:39,175 --> 00:57:41,210
They know that.
1267
00:57:41,244 --> 00:57:43,079
But what if...
1268
00:57:43,114 --> 00:57:45,349
the greatest somebody
you can be...
1269
00:57:45,382 --> 00:57:48,318
is a man all in for God?
1270
00:57:48,351 --> 00:57:51,155
What if you dove
deeper into the Bible
1271
00:57:51,188 --> 00:57:53,389
than you ever have before?
1272
00:57:55,259 --> 00:57:57,327
Look, man, you're...
1273
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:58,661
you're young, dude.
1274
00:57:58,695 --> 00:58:00,797
I got kids, my wife.
1275
00:58:00,831 --> 00:58:03,733
I can't afford to be sitting
around, reading the Bible.
1276
00:58:03,766 --> 00:58:05,268
See...
1277
00:58:05,302 --> 00:58:08,038
you have a wife
and kids and a family
1278
00:58:08,072 --> 00:58:10,007
and responsibilities.
1279
00:58:10,039 --> 00:58:13,210
You can't afford
not to read the Bible.
1280
00:58:21,985 --> 00:58:24,155
It got, it got awkward for us.
1281
00:58:24,188 --> 00:58:26,023
- Little bit, yeah, little bit.
- You staring at me and stuff.
1282
00:58:26,056 --> 00:58:28,259
You felt that? I felt it.
1283
00:58:28,291 --> 00:58:32,396
Look, man, break the chain
for good.
1284
00:58:32,429 --> 00:58:34,398
And give me something
good to write about.
1285
00:58:36,032 --> 00:58:38,735
I was looking for you.
1286
00:58:38,768 --> 00:58:40,704
Mickey leave?
1287
00:58:40,737 --> 00:58:42,373
Yeah, he left a while ago.
1288
00:58:42,405 --> 00:58:43,806
Hmm.
1289
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,010
Did you guys have a good talk?
1290
00:58:46,043 --> 00:58:47,378
You know, we did.
1291
00:58:47,411 --> 00:58:49,179
He, uh...
1292
00:58:49,213 --> 00:58:51,782
he actually thinks that I should
dig into the Bible more
1293
00:58:51,815 --> 00:58:53,851
and, uh... get to know
the real Jesus.
1294
00:58:55,753 --> 00:58:56,920
You know what, here.
1295
00:58:56,954 --> 00:58:58,355
Turn, look at,
can you look at...?
1296
00:58:58,389 --> 00:59:00,056
Just turn this way?
Just... look at the wall.
1297
00:59:00,090 --> 00:59:02,458
Just... okay, cool.
1298
00:59:02,492 --> 00:59:04,228
The weird part is...
1299
00:59:04,260 --> 00:59:06,931
I actually want
to read the Bible more.
1300
00:59:09,967 --> 00:59:11,869
I thought you was gonna faint.
1301
00:59:11,902 --> 00:59:13,436
I just...
1302
00:59:14,804 --> 00:59:16,907
Is Hannah awake yet?
1303
00:59:16,940 --> 00:59:18,943
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1304
00:59:27,518 --> 00:59:29,085
Yeah?
1305
00:59:30,554 --> 00:59:32,155
Can I come in?
1306
00:59:32,188 --> 00:59:34,324
Sure.
1307
00:59:36,527 --> 00:59:39,362
Mom came in earlier,
asked me why I did it.
1308
00:59:39,396 --> 00:59:41,097
I told her I don't know.
1309
00:59:41,130 --> 00:59:43,500
Look, Hanns, I don't...
1310
00:59:43,534 --> 00:59:45,235
I don't even care
why you did it.
1311
00:59:45,268 --> 00:59:47,438
I'm... I'm just glad
that you didn't do,
1312
00:59:47,471 --> 00:59:50,306
you know, the thing that you,
that you didn't do.
1313
00:59:50,340 --> 00:59:51,909
What didn't I do?
1314
00:59:51,942 --> 00:59:53,244
The-the thing
that you didn't do.
1315
00:59:53,277 --> 00:59:54,378
That you, that you shouldn't do.
1316
00:59:54,411 --> 00:59:55,545
What? What didn't I do?
1317
00:59:55,579 --> 00:59:57,280
You know, the boy from the play.
1318
00:59:57,313 --> 00:59:59,148
Dad, he's a massive loser.
1319
00:59:59,181 --> 01:00:01,452
Yeah, you said that.
1320
01:00:01,485 --> 01:00:03,518
I'm sorry, just this is...
1321
01:00:03,554 --> 01:00:06,222
It's a little awkward talking
to my dad about this stuff.
1322
01:00:06,257 --> 01:00:07,992
It is.
I know I'm the last person
1323
01:00:08,025 --> 01:00:11,295
you want to talk to about this,
but it's just, Hanns,
1324
01:00:11,327 --> 01:00:13,496
what you did
was-was really dumb.
1325
01:00:13,530 --> 01:00:15,833
Look, I'd be lying
1326
01:00:15,864 --> 01:00:17,934
to you if I didn't tell you
when I was your age,
1327
01:00:17,967 --> 01:00:19,902
I didn't do the same thing.
1328
01:00:19,936 --> 01:00:21,405
There's nobody in this house
1329
01:00:21,438 --> 01:00:24,041
who's done more dumb things
than I have.
1330
01:00:24,074 --> 01:00:26,277
We could take away
your cell phone
1331
01:00:26,309 --> 01:00:28,311
and ground you...
we could do all sorts of things.
1332
01:00:28,344 --> 01:00:30,213
But I don't want
to do any of that.
1333
01:00:30,246 --> 01:00:34,050
I just want to have an open,
honest relationship.
1334
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:37,186
There's no way I can ask you
to be a better daughter
1335
01:00:37,221 --> 01:00:39,356
if I'm not willing
to be a better father.
1336
01:00:39,389 --> 01:00:41,257
And I am.
1337
01:00:41,291 --> 01:00:43,860
I'm-a do my part.
1338
01:00:43,893 --> 01:00:46,195
All I ask is that...
1339
01:00:47,898 --> 01:00:50,567
Please, don't sneak out anymore.
1340
01:00:59,510 --> 01:01:02,478
♪ I know Your history ♪
1341
01:01:02,512 --> 01:01:07,483
♪ You are the one who sees ♪
1342
01:01:07,518 --> 01:01:10,521
♪ And You fix things ♪
1343
01:01:12,523 --> 01:01:16,159
♪ I've read it in a book ♪
1344
01:01:16,193 --> 01:01:20,563
♪ And I've heard it
from my friends that You ♪
1345
01:01:20,597 --> 01:01:22,565
♪ You fix things. ♪
1346
01:01:22,599 --> 01:01:24,568
It's one thing
to know the Bible.
1347
01:01:24,601 --> 01:01:26,402
But as you learn
the Word of God
1348
01:01:26,436 --> 01:01:28,304
by the power
of the Holy Spirit,
1349
01:01:28,338 --> 01:01:30,940
you're able to learn
to live in obedience to it.
1350
01:01:30,974 --> 01:01:33,443
First John chapter two
says this.
1351
01:01:33,476 --> 01:01:36,079
"Whoever says, 'I know Him, '
1352
01:01:36,112 --> 01:01:39,882
"but does not do
what He commands
1353
01:01:39,916 --> 01:01:43,585
is a liar, and the truth
is not in that person."
1354
01:01:45,657 --> 01:01:48,625
Okay. So, uh...
1355
01:01:48,659 --> 01:01:51,161
This book that Mickey gave me,
right?
1356
01:01:51,195 --> 01:01:53,030
It explains
that a good place to start
1357
01:01:53,063 --> 01:01:54,565
is, like, in First John.
1358
01:01:54,597 --> 01:01:57,900
Five chapters long.
You just read it for 30 days.
1359
01:01:57,934 --> 01:02:01,405
Then after that, what you do is
you move to the Gospel of John,
1360
01:02:01,438 --> 01:02:03,139
which is, like,
21 chapters long.
1361
01:02:03,172 --> 01:02:05,677
So, you read the first section,
30 days.
1362
01:02:05,710 --> 01:02:09,112
Next seven, 30 days.
Next seven, 30 days.
1363
01:02:09,146 --> 01:02:11,114
Go, after you do that, like,
with the New Testament,
1364
01:02:11,148 --> 01:02:13,416
it'll be, like,
two and a half years
1365
01:02:13,449 --> 01:02:15,085
before you're completely done.
1366
01:02:15,119 --> 01:02:16,920
But you will be beast.
1367
01:02:16,954 --> 01:02:18,288
Can I be done?
1368
01:02:18,322 --> 01:02:20,657
Jack, this is important.
1369
01:02:20,692 --> 01:02:22,492
I have a stomachache.
1370
01:02:22,525 --> 01:02:23,927
Oh, my gosh.
1371
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:26,163
- You are such a liar.
- I am not.
1372
01:02:26,195 --> 01:02:28,231
I have homework to do.
1373
01:02:28,264 --> 01:02:30,067
- You're the liar.
- Really? You want
1374
01:02:30,099 --> 01:02:32,135
- to go upstairs and see my homework?
- Okay, chicos.
1375
01:02:32,168 --> 01:02:35,172
- Maybe that's enough for today.
- Yes.
1376
01:02:37,340 --> 01:02:41,378
Baby, I am so proud of you.
1377
01:02:41,411 --> 01:02:45,547
And I have never,
and I mean never...
1378
01:02:45,581 --> 01:02:48,085
been more attracted to you.
1379
01:02:49,585 --> 01:02:53,257
Maybe we should have the kids
go to bed early tonight.
1380
01:02:54,759 --> 01:02:57,594
Maybe they could take a nap
right now.
1381
01:03:08,639 --> 01:03:11,074
Yo, yo, yo.
1382
01:03:11,108 --> 01:03:12,744
It's been a while
since I made a video.
1383
01:03:12,777 --> 01:03:14,411
In fact, probably not since
1384
01:03:14,445 --> 01:03:16,713
you voted me
New Comic of the Year.
1385
01:03:16,748 --> 01:03:19,684
And now my new sponsor,
Packer Tools,
1386
01:03:19,717 --> 01:03:22,552
they're gonna make sure
that we cranking out the videos
1387
01:03:22,585 --> 01:03:24,253
and fixing a bunch of stuff.
1388
01:03:24,288 --> 01:03:25,722
We might fix
the Cleveland Browns.
1389
01:03:25,757 --> 01:03:28,391
The economy.
We might fix breakfast.
1390
01:03:28,425 --> 01:03:31,128
I got to show you the award.
I got to show this to you.
1391
01:03:31,161 --> 01:03:34,030
Boom.
I am in awe over this thing.
1392
01:03:34,063 --> 01:03:37,067
I don't know what could be
more important.
1393
01:03:38,670 --> 01:03:40,304
Actually, I do.
1394
01:03:40,335 --> 01:03:42,639
Hold on one second.
1395
01:03:42,672 --> 01:03:46,143
This right here
has changed the game.
1396
01:03:46,175 --> 01:03:47,744
Even now, I haven't read
the whole Bible.
1397
01:03:47,777 --> 01:03:50,782
I thought the Bible was a story
about a dude named Moses
1398
01:03:50,815 --> 01:03:54,016
who didn't want the frogs
to hit his people.
1399
01:03:54,050 --> 01:03:55,117
God sent, like, His son.
1400
01:03:55,152 --> 01:03:57,688
Mel Gibson was there, right?
He shared his passion.
1401
01:03:57,722 --> 01:04:00,590
And then they got together,
and it was like Lethal Weapon.
1402
01:04:00,623 --> 01:04:03,293
It's way, way, way greater
than that.
1403
01:04:03,327 --> 01:04:04,360
I fix stuff.
1404
01:04:04,393 --> 01:04:05,596
Long before I got here,
1405
01:04:05,628 --> 01:04:07,664
this world was broken.
1406
01:04:07,699 --> 01:04:11,034
And Jesus came to truly fix it.
1407
01:04:11,068 --> 01:04:13,637
And all I'm trying to do
is follow Him.
1408
01:04:13,670 --> 01:04:16,306
Everything's not perfect.
1409
01:04:16,340 --> 01:04:19,342
But I know
I got to be a better dad.
1410
01:04:20,677 --> 01:04:23,313
I got to be a better husband.
1411
01:04:23,347 --> 01:04:26,315
And some of these things,
I just can't fix
1412
01:04:26,349 --> 01:04:28,552
without some sort of direction.
1413
01:04:28,585 --> 01:04:30,585
And I'm finding it right here.
1414
01:04:30,621 --> 01:04:33,257
I'm Selfie Dad.
1415
01:04:37,260 --> 01:04:39,128
Hey. Who were you talking to?
1416
01:04:41,797 --> 01:04:43,701
I was actually doing a video.
1417
01:04:43,735 --> 01:04:46,335
Oh, I thought you had enough
videos for a couple weeks.
1418
01:04:46,369 --> 01:04:48,438
I do, but...
1419
01:04:48,472 --> 01:04:50,273
I just got inspired.
1420
01:04:50,306 --> 01:04:51,641
I mean...
1421
01:04:51,675 --> 01:04:54,177
Like, this one,
this one's gonna be different.
1422
01:04:54,210 --> 01:04:56,813
You gonna really like it.
It might actually lead
1423
01:04:56,847 --> 01:04:59,483
to more evenings like,
you know...
1424
01:04:59,516 --> 01:05:02,452
Okay.
1425
01:05:02,485 --> 01:05:05,722
So, what was, um,
what was so different about it?
1426
01:05:05,757 --> 01:05:08,592
Actually, you know what?
Jack should edit this one.
1427
01:05:08,625 --> 01:05:10,360
When's he get home?
1428
01:05:10,393 --> 01:05:12,596
Um, I pick him up at 3:00.
1429
01:05:12,628 --> 01:05:14,398
Oh, cool.
1430
01:05:14,431 --> 01:05:17,835
Okay, so, what's different
is the content matter.
1431
01:05:17,869 --> 01:05:20,103
Like...
1432
01:05:20,137 --> 01:05:22,405
You just wait. You'll see.
1433
01:05:22,438 --> 01:05:24,172
Looks good on you.
1434
01:05:24,206 --> 01:05:25,375
What?
1435
01:05:25,409 --> 01:05:27,376
Your smile.
1436
01:05:27,411 --> 01:05:30,414
Oh, Ben.
1437
01:05:32,449 --> 01:05:34,585
Dude, you fast.
1438
01:05:34,617 --> 01:05:36,485
You learned all this from watching videos?
1439
01:05:36,518 --> 01:05:38,121
- Pretty much.
- So,
1440
01:05:38,155 --> 01:05:40,324
- how is the secret video coming along?
- Don't look.
1441
01:05:40,356 --> 01:05:41,525
Okay, I won't look.
1442
01:05:41,556 --> 01:05:43,260
So, here's the thing.
It's almost done,
1443
01:05:43,293 --> 01:05:45,896
and this dude
is brilliant on this.
1444
01:05:45,929 --> 01:05:48,398
I am so proud of both of you.
1445
01:05:48,431 --> 01:05:51,300
Jack did the editing,
Hannah picked the title,
1446
01:05:51,335 --> 01:05:52,804
and Moms clicked "upload."
1447
01:05:52,835 --> 01:05:55,873
The way I see it, we just made
our first family video.
1448
01:05:55,907 --> 01:05:57,909
- Mmm. Mm-hmm.
- And, Hannah, listen.
1449
01:05:57,942 --> 01:05:59,777
I know you love performing,
1450
01:05:59,811 --> 01:06:02,612
like you did in the, uh...
You know, your play.
1451
01:06:02,646 --> 01:06:05,315
But, uh, in future videos,
1452
01:06:05,349 --> 01:06:06,918
I want you to act.
1453
01:06:06,951 --> 01:06:08,418
Hmm. Okay.
1454
01:06:08,452 --> 01:06:11,554
Um, are they all gonna be,
1455
01:06:11,588 --> 01:06:14,123
like, Bible videos?
1456
01:06:14,925 --> 01:06:16,693
Yeah.
1457
01:06:16,728 --> 01:06:19,295
Yeah, why not.
1458
01:06:30,974 --> 01:06:33,175
What in the world?
1459
01:06:38,815 --> 01:06:41,284
What in the world?
1460
01:06:41,318 --> 01:06:43,286
Are you sure?
1461
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:45,288
Yeah, I'm sure. You should read
some of these comments.
1462
01:06:45,322 --> 01:06:47,224
Actually,
don't read the comments.
1463
01:06:47,257 --> 01:06:50,193
It's clear I got a lot of fans
that don't like Jesus.
1464
01:06:50,226 --> 01:06:52,195
Well, can you delete the video?
1465
01:06:52,228 --> 01:06:54,197
I don't really want
to delete the video.
1466
01:06:54,231 --> 01:06:56,431
- I mean, I kind of like the Jesus video.
- Well, Ben,
1467
01:06:56,465 --> 01:06:57,802
this is our income now, okay?
1468
01:06:57,835 --> 01:06:59,737
No, it's just, like,
this stuff is good.
1469
01:06:59,771 --> 01:07:00,905
It's Jesus.
1470
01:07:04,608 --> 01:07:06,242
Hey, this is Ben.
1471
01:07:06,275 --> 01:07:08,244
Yeah.
1472
01:07:08,277 --> 01:07:11,280
Oh, yeah, no. Yeah,
we were just talking about that.
1473
01:07:11,313 --> 01:07:12,949
Absolutely.
1474
01:07:12,983 --> 01:07:15,418
Yeah, I get it.
Oh, it makes sense.
1475
01:07:15,452 --> 01:07:17,420
Okay. Yeah, for sure.
1476
01:07:17,454 --> 01:07:18,922
All right, bye-bye.
1477
01:07:18,956 --> 01:07:20,456
We gonna delete the video.
1478
01:07:20,489 --> 01:07:21,793
That was Packer Tools,
1479
01:07:21,826 --> 01:07:23,661
and, uh,
they don't like Jesus, either.
1480
01:07:23,695 --> 01:07:25,594
So we got to get this thing...
1481
01:07:25,628 --> 01:07:27,364
Where's this at?
1482
01:07:27,396 --> 01:07:29,498
Okay.
1483
01:07:29,532 --> 01:07:31,501
- It's still not deleting.
- I know it's not deleting.
1484
01:07:31,534 --> 01:07:33,905
I'm-I'm trying to get this thing...
1485
01:07:33,938 --> 01:07:35,405
Why is it saying "system error"?
1486
01:07:35,438 --> 01:07:36,739
Well, why is it saying
"system error"?
1487
01:07:36,773 --> 01:07:37,909
- I don't...
- That's what I just asked.
1488
01:07:37,942 --> 01:07:38,943
- The same doggone question.
- Okay, but call somebody.
1489
01:07:38,976 --> 01:07:41,277
- Call who?
- I mean, I can try to reroute it.
1490
01:07:41,311 --> 01:07:42,646
But is it just this one video?
1491
01:07:42,679 --> 01:07:43,981
- Yes.
- The, uh, "Selfie Dad goes
1492
01:07:44,014 --> 01:07:46,016
- all in for the Bible?"
- Yes, that one. Yes.
1493
01:07:46,050 --> 01:07:47,784
That's great, man.
When'd you post it?
1494
01:07:47,818 --> 01:07:49,552
I don't know. Last night, dude.
1495
01:07:49,585 --> 01:07:51,253
You... This ain't...
This not funny.
1496
01:07:51,288 --> 01:07:52,922
No, I didn't mean that.
I mean, I think it's...
1497
01:07:52,956 --> 01:07:54,458
I just think it's really cool,
you know?
1498
01:07:54,489 --> 01:07:56,326
- Chainbreaker lives.
- Okay. Listen, dude,
1499
01:07:56,358 --> 01:07:57,561
the chainbreaker lives,
but my page
1500
01:07:57,594 --> 01:07:58,695
- is dying.
- What is a chainbreaker?
1501
01:07:58,730 --> 01:08:00,563
I don't know, just...
Come on, fix the thing, dude.
1502
01:08:00,597 --> 01:08:01,998
Call some server people
or something.
1503
01:08:02,032 --> 01:08:03,768
- You speak their language, right?
- Yeah, I can try,
1504
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:04,835
but I don't know
if that's gonna...
1505
01:08:04,869 --> 01:08:06,871
Oh, wait, hold on.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
1506
01:08:06,902 --> 01:08:09,338
Yeah. Yes. Delete, delete.
1507
01:08:09,371 --> 01:08:10,875
- Delete.
- Okay, now... - Yes.
1508
01:08:10,907 --> 01:08:13,275
Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, now go check and see...
1509
01:08:13,309 --> 01:08:15,980
See how many subscribers we got.
Refresh. Subscribers.
1510
01:08:18,346 --> 01:08:21,318
Oh, no.
1511
01:08:21,350 --> 01:08:22,854
So, yeah,
I heard it a hundred times
1512
01:08:22,886 --> 01:08:26,354
and acted the part,
but I wasn't saved.
1513
01:08:26,389 --> 01:08:28,792
Pretty much a jerk, actually.
1514
01:08:28,826 --> 01:08:30,594
I do not believe that.
1515
01:08:30,627 --> 01:08:31,796
Oh, no. No, it's true.
1516
01:08:31,828 --> 01:08:33,729
See, my mind was made up
1517
01:08:33,765 --> 01:08:35,430
that I wasn't that bad,
you know?
1518
01:08:35,465 --> 01:08:37,600
- I'm a good person.
- You are.
1519
01:08:37,634 --> 01:08:40,403
No, yeah.
1520
01:08:40,435 --> 01:08:43,471
Yeah, so,
I told that to my youth pastor,
1521
01:08:43,506 --> 01:08:45,375
and I'll never forget
what he said.
1522
01:08:45,408 --> 01:08:47,644
He said that if I took
all my thoughts...
1523
01:08:47,676 --> 01:08:48,979
the past day,
1524
01:08:49,011 --> 01:08:51,314
month, the year...
and projected it
1525
01:08:51,346 --> 01:08:54,752
onto a big screen for all
my friends and family to see,
1526
01:08:54,786 --> 01:08:58,890
would I still say
that I'm a good person?
1527
01:08:58,921 --> 01:09:00,890
And that was like...
1528
01:09:00,925 --> 01:09:03,493
That-that shut me up fast.
1529
01:09:03,527 --> 01:09:05,930
But it wasn't until I was 16
1530
01:09:05,962 --> 01:09:07,595
and I got in trouble
1531
01:09:07,631 --> 01:09:10,935
for stealing beer at a Walmart.
1532
01:09:10,966 --> 01:09:13,938
My mom picked me up
from the police station.
1533
01:09:13,970 --> 01:09:16,739
The whole car ride home,
I'm just thinking to myself,
1534
01:09:16,774 --> 01:09:18,743
"My dad's gonna kill me.
1535
01:09:18,774 --> 01:09:20,877
He's gonna kill me."
1536
01:09:20,912 --> 01:09:24,345
And when he gets home,
he tells me to get in the car.
1537
01:09:24,381 --> 01:09:26,550
And he takes me out for pizza.
1538
01:09:26,582 --> 01:09:28,618
We talk.
1539
01:09:28,653 --> 01:09:31,654
Then he takes me back
to that same Walmart...
1540
01:09:33,658 --> 01:09:35,725
...and he buys me an iPod.
1541
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:38,328
Why would he buy you an iPod?
1542
01:09:39,162 --> 01:09:41,997
Because he wanted to teach me
1543
01:09:42,033 --> 01:09:46,502
something bigger than just,
you know, "don't steal."
1544
01:09:46,536 --> 01:09:49,537
He wanted to show me
that that...
1545
01:09:49,573 --> 01:09:52,877
That that's what
God's grace looks like.
1546
01:09:52,908 --> 01:09:56,046
That even when
I deserved punishment,
1547
01:09:56,078 --> 01:09:59,381
I got reward.
1548
01:09:59,416 --> 01:10:02,417
And I saw for the first time
that that's...
1549
01:10:03,752 --> 01:10:06,122
Well, that's what Jesus did.
1550
01:10:06,157 --> 01:10:08,993
He paid the ultimate price,
1551
01:10:09,024 --> 01:10:11,761
so I could be
with Him in Heaven.
1552
01:10:14,462 --> 01:10:16,868
I changed my life.
1553
01:10:16,899 --> 01:10:18,970
For good and...
1554
01:10:19,002 --> 01:10:21,569
five years later I felt
the call to full ministry
1555
01:10:21,604 --> 01:10:24,041
and that's what
I'm studying in school.
1556
01:10:24,073 --> 01:10:25,975
You are so amazing.
1557
01:10:26,010 --> 01:10:27,475
Thanks.
1558
01:10:27,510 --> 01:10:29,046
Hmm.
1559
01:10:30,948 --> 01:10:32,649
So...
1560
01:10:32,681 --> 01:10:34,118
So wack.
1561
01:10:34,149 --> 01:10:35,953
Here I come.
1562
01:10:35,987 --> 01:10:37,988
Hey, you should come with me
to check out the computer.
1563
01:10:38,020 --> 01:10:39,189
- What?
- Yeah.
1564
01:10:39,221 --> 01:10:40,555
I'm gonna go help.
1565
01:10:40,590 --> 01:10:42,760
No, no, no, you can help me
1566
01:10:42,792 --> 01:10:44,127
clean up.
1567
01:10:45,761 --> 01:10:47,730
Dude, I would think you
of all people
1568
01:10:47,765 --> 01:10:48,966
would appreciate the fact that
1569
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,466
- I did a video about the Bible.
- Yeah.
1570
01:10:51,501 --> 01:10:53,069
I love it.
1571
01:10:53,104 --> 01:10:55,907
All right, but...
in all fairness to your fans,
1572
01:10:55,939 --> 01:10:59,377
you went from, like,
zero to 60 in one day.
1573
01:11:00,778 --> 01:11:02,578
What if your page dropping...
1574
01:11:02,612 --> 01:11:04,648
what if it's a test?
1575
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:06,582
Test,
what are you talking about?
1576
01:11:06,614 --> 01:11:09,051
To see if you really believe
1577
01:11:09,086 --> 01:11:11,654
everything you're reading.
1578
01:11:11,689 --> 01:11:14,591
I mean, could God have
made your page double?
1579
01:11:14,622 --> 01:11:16,626
Could He have made it so you
could delete it right away?
1580
01:11:16,661 --> 01:11:17,728
Of course.
1581
01:11:17,761 --> 01:11:19,729
Look, man...
1582
01:11:19,764 --> 01:11:21,730
the more you're in His Word,
1583
01:11:21,765 --> 01:11:23,466
the more you're gonna have
to decide whether or not
1584
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:24,902
you believe in Him
and trust Him.
1585
01:11:24,935 --> 01:11:26,770
But I still got
to make a living.
1586
01:11:26,804 --> 01:11:28,203
Look, totally.
1587
01:11:28,238 --> 01:11:30,471
He'll never leave you.
1588
01:11:30,506 --> 01:11:33,542
Take God at His Word
and that's...
1589
01:11:33,576 --> 01:11:37,680
and that's
God Himself talking to you.
1590
01:11:41,252 --> 01:11:43,988
Why are these people not asleep?
1591
01:11:48,158 --> 01:11:51,060
Go to sleep
and stop unsubscribing.
1592
01:11:52,962 --> 01:11:55,465
Ben, go to sleep.
1593
01:12:11,082 --> 01:12:13,082
Oh, no.
1594
01:12:18,956 --> 01:12:20,590
What are you doing?
1595
01:12:20,622 --> 01:12:23,094
Oh, nothing, I couldn't sleep.
1596
01:12:23,127 --> 01:12:25,194
Uh, I just was...
1597
01:12:25,229 --> 01:12:27,997
walking around, I guess, uh...
1598
01:12:30,734 --> 01:12:33,170
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1599
01:12:33,203 --> 01:12:35,104
You weren't...
1600
01:12:35,139 --> 01:12:37,806
you weren't checking up
on me, were you?
1601
01:12:38,876 --> 01:12:40,944
No, I wasn't checking on you.
1602
01:12:40,978 --> 01:12:42,279
'Cause why would I do that?
1603
01:12:42,313 --> 01:12:45,149
When, you know,
the guy from the play, he...
1604
01:12:45,180 --> 01:12:47,283
he's still a massive loser,
right?
1605
01:12:47,318 --> 01:12:49,086
Mm-hmm.
1606
01:12:49,118 --> 01:12:50,618
- Okay.
- Night.
1607
01:12:50,654 --> 01:12:51,889
Yeah, good night.
1608
01:12:51,921 --> 01:12:53,922
Hey, um...
1609
01:12:53,957 --> 01:12:55,259
You know what,
wait right there for a second.
1610
01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:57,094
Just-just one sec.
Just wait right there.
1611
01:13:04,634 --> 01:13:06,270
Got that for you.
1612
01:13:06,301 --> 01:13:07,738
What's this?
1613
01:13:07,770 --> 01:13:09,073
The book, it...
1614
01:13:09,104 --> 01:13:11,073
Mickey wanted you
to have it, so...
1615
01:13:11,108 --> 01:13:13,010
You can read it right now.
1616
01:13:13,042 --> 01:13:15,145
It's the middle
of the night, Dad.
1617
01:13:15,179 --> 01:13:17,680
Yeah, okay.
1618
01:13:17,715 --> 01:13:20,082
So, the morning.
You can read it in the morning.
1619
01:13:20,117 --> 01:13:22,153
- I can set your alarm, if you want me to.
- Mm-hmm.
1620
01:13:22,185 --> 01:13:24,319
Hey, listen, uh,
1621
01:13:24,354 --> 01:13:26,724
you know, Mickey's...
1622
01:13:26,756 --> 01:13:28,192
He's a little old for you.
1623
01:13:28,225 --> 01:13:29,760
Okay?
1624
01:13:29,792 --> 01:13:31,627
What are you talking about?
1625
01:13:32,895 --> 01:13:34,997
Well, I want you to know
that, uh,
1626
01:13:35,032 --> 01:13:38,234
he's the type of guy
who deserves someone like you.
1627
01:13:39,270 --> 01:13:41,372
Okay.
1628
01:13:41,404 --> 01:13:43,238
Hanns, one more thing.
1629
01:13:43,274 --> 01:13:45,274
One more thing. Uh...
1630
01:13:45,309 --> 01:13:47,211
I'm your dad,
1631
01:13:47,243 --> 01:13:49,011
and I want you to know
1632
01:13:49,046 --> 01:13:51,314
that I am hopelessly devoted
to you.
1633
01:13:51,346 --> 01:13:54,118
Of all the daughters
in the world,
1634
01:13:54,149 --> 01:13:56,118
you're the one that I want.
1635
01:13:56,153 --> 01:13:58,189
Mm-hmm.
1636
01:13:58,220 --> 01:13:59,922
Good night.
1637
01:14:03,225 --> 01:14:05,729
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
1638
01:14:05,761 --> 01:14:07,729
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh. ♪
1639
01:14:10,367 --> 01:14:11,935
Okay. I'm-a pray.
1640
01:14:11,969 --> 01:14:14,104
So, numbers are down.
1641
01:14:14,136 --> 01:14:16,171
It's okay,
'cause I'm-a pray.
1642
01:14:16,207 --> 01:14:17,774
We're gonna work this out,
1643
01:14:17,806 --> 01:14:18,975
'cause I pray.
1644
01:14:19,009 --> 01:14:20,077
That's what I do.
1645
01:14:21,779 --> 01:14:23,948
I could fix, uh,
1646
01:14:23,979 --> 01:14:25,881
a garage door opener.
1647
01:14:25,916 --> 01:14:27,685
That's what I could do.
I could fix that.
1648
01:14:27,716 --> 01:14:29,051
Yep. I could fix that.
1649
01:14:29,086 --> 01:14:30,752
I could fix a hot water heater.
1650
01:14:30,787 --> 01:14:33,224
I'll make a video of fixing
the hot water heater.
1651
01:14:33,256 --> 01:14:35,359
'Cause I pray, and I'm praying.
1652
01:14:35,390 --> 01:14:37,828
I'm-a pray that Packer Tools
understands this.
1653
01:14:37,862 --> 01:14:39,697
I'm-a pray
that my numbers go back up.
1654
01:14:39,729 --> 01:14:42,698
And I'm-a pray, 'cause that's
what I'm doing right now.
1655
01:14:42,733 --> 01:14:43,832
Or am I?
1656
01:14:43,868 --> 01:14:46,770
'Cause it feels like I'm
in a garage talking to myself.
1657
01:14:46,804 --> 01:14:48,305
That's okay.
1658
01:14:48,337 --> 01:14:49,738
I'm...
1659
01:14:50,739 --> 01:14:52,743
Okay.
1660
01:14:56,447 --> 01:14:59,015
Hey, Ben, it's, uh,
Laurie with LaughLoud.
1661
01:14:59,047 --> 01:15:01,185
Just thought
I'd leave you a message.
1662
01:15:01,216 --> 01:15:04,255
I'd still love to interview you
about your big win.
1663
01:15:04,287 --> 01:15:05,988
I'll be in town
the week of the ninth.
1664
01:15:06,023 --> 01:15:07,992
So let me know
if you have any free time.
1665
01:15:08,024 --> 01:15:11,194
Also, not sure
if you got the photo I sent.
1666
01:15:11,228 --> 01:15:13,697
Hope you like red.
1667
01:15:24,806 --> 01:15:25,576
Hey.
1668
01:15:25,609 --> 01:15:27,912
Everything okay?
1669
01:15:27,944 --> 01:15:29,380
I'm good. Uh...
1670
01:15:29,412 --> 01:15:31,849
Selfie Dad
is gonna probably be fixing
1671
01:15:31,881 --> 01:15:33,716
a-a cell phone that's broken.
1672
01:15:33,751 --> 01:15:35,286
And I got to try to break it.
1673
01:15:35,319 --> 01:15:37,154
- It didn't work that time, but I'm-a get it.
- Okay.
1674
01:15:37,188 --> 01:15:38,854
Well, we're leaving. I thought
you'd want to say goodbye
1675
01:15:38,889 --> 01:15:40,457
- to the kids.
- Oh, yeah, I do.
1676
01:15:40,489 --> 01:15:43,194
I'm-a say goodbye...
say goodbye to 'em.
1677
01:15:43,225 --> 01:15:44,261
I'm-a go with you.
1678
01:15:44,295 --> 01:15:46,261
No, you-you should go
before I go.
1679
01:15:46,296 --> 01:15:48,163
Go before me.
That's what...
1680
01:15:48,198 --> 01:15:49,431
The Bible says that sometimes.
1681
01:15:49,466 --> 01:15:51,868
- So, if you... Yeah.
- Okay.
1682
01:15:51,902 --> 01:15:52,868
Okay.
1683
01:15:59,042 --> 01:15:59,944
Hey, buddy.
1684
01:15:59,975 --> 01:16:01,345
You're going to school today
and stuff,
1685
01:16:01,377 --> 01:16:03,078
so, uh, I just wanted to say,
1686
01:16:03,113 --> 01:16:05,282
you know, uh,
go hit it hard, okay?
1687
01:16:05,314 --> 01:16:06,884
Yeah. You, too.
1688
01:16:06,917 --> 01:16:08,018
You'd better.
1689
01:16:08,051 --> 01:16:11,488
'Cause you just dropped
two-fifths of your subscribers.
1690
01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:13,890
Fractions.
1691
01:16:13,922 --> 01:16:15,457
Hannah, come on.
1692
01:16:16,493 --> 01:16:18,194
Hey, Hanns.
1693
01:16:18,229 --> 01:16:20,462
So, uh, you know I gave you
that book last night?
1694
01:16:20,497 --> 01:16:23,265
I just... I think it's important
that you, um...
1695
01:16:36,979 --> 01:16:39,283
You're not gonna make any videos
without me, right?
1696
01:16:39,314 --> 01:16:41,149
Dude, you're my editor.
1697
01:16:45,189 --> 01:16:47,556
So cool.
1698
01:16:49,126 --> 01:16:52,029
What in the world is going on?
1699
01:17:12,948 --> 01:17:15,286
What I'm not gonna do is
I'm not...
1700
01:17:15,319 --> 01:17:17,921
I'm not gonna be my dad.
1701
01:17:28,997 --> 01:17:31,100
Laurie,
1702
01:17:31,135 --> 01:17:35,270
I've deleted your photo.
1703
01:17:37,306 --> 01:17:42,046
My family is too important.
1704
01:17:43,078 --> 01:17:45,349
And...
1705
01:17:45,381 --> 01:17:48,952
I love...
1706
01:17:48,984 --> 01:17:50,886
my wife.
1707
01:17:50,921 --> 01:17:53,090
Please do not...
1708
01:17:53,122 --> 01:17:55,926
contact me.
1709
01:18:07,438 --> 01:18:08,872
Gary, this is ridiculous.
1710
01:18:08,904 --> 01:18:10,274
You could've just called me
on the phone.
1711
01:18:10,305 --> 01:18:12,542
You got to slap me
with this junk.
1712
01:18:12,576 --> 01:18:14,144
Well, I don't have the money.
1713
01:18:14,176 --> 01:18:16,246
And even if I did,
we had a deal.
1714
01:18:16,279 --> 01:18:17,279
You could sue me.
You know what?
1715
01:18:17,314 --> 01:18:20,250
And I'm-a sue you
for-for trying to sue people
1716
01:18:20,283 --> 01:18:21,585
when you shouldn't be suing 'em
and stuff.
1717
01:18:23,220 --> 01:18:25,122
Gary.
1718
01:18:25,154 --> 01:18:27,122
Gary.
1719
01:18:31,426 --> 01:18:33,895
That was Gary.
1720
01:18:37,466 --> 01:18:38,902
They just...
1721
01:18:38,935 --> 01:18:40,904
they just canceled my deal.
1722
01:18:40,938 --> 01:18:43,640
Packer Tools.
They canceled it.
1723
01:18:43,675 --> 01:18:45,274
What?
1724
01:18:45,309 --> 01:18:48,176
Apparently, they don't like
religious content.
1725
01:18:48,212 --> 01:18:50,247
- Yeah, but you deleted the video.
- I know I deleted the video.
1726
01:18:50,279 --> 01:18:53,117
I'm just telling you
what they said.
1727
01:18:53,149 --> 01:18:55,386
No tenemos el dinero.
1728
01:18:55,417 --> 01:18:57,354
Ben, we don't have this money!
1729
01:19:00,957 --> 01:19:02,457
What are you doing?
1730
01:19:02,493 --> 01:19:04,127
What does it look
like I'm doing?
1731
01:19:04,161 --> 01:19:06,595
Well, I think we should,
uh, go talk about this.
1732
01:19:06,630 --> 01:19:07,663
What is there to talk about?
1733
01:19:07,698 --> 01:19:10,533
Packer Tools wants to play
this game? Well, fine.
1734
01:19:10,567 --> 01:19:13,136
Sweetheart, I don't think
you're in your right mindset.
1735
01:19:13,170 --> 01:19:14,604
You don't get it.
1736
01:19:14,636 --> 01:19:17,474
I am always
in the right mindset.
1737
01:19:17,506 --> 01:19:20,978
Ever since I was five years old,
I've been in the right mindset.
1738
01:19:21,011 --> 01:19:22,412
I just happened to have a dad
1739
01:19:22,444 --> 01:19:24,413
who didn't know
what he was doing.
1740
01:19:24,448 --> 01:19:26,948
And for 20 years,
that set me back.
1741
01:19:26,984 --> 01:19:29,219
But not anymore. And I'm
not gonna let this one mistake
1742
01:19:29,252 --> 01:19:30,621
keep this opportunity from me.
1743
01:19:30,654 --> 01:19:32,287
I'm in my right mindset.
1744
01:19:32,322 --> 01:19:34,024
In fact, let's do a video
1745
01:19:34,055 --> 01:19:35,957
so I can show you
I'm in my right mindset.
1746
01:19:35,993 --> 01:19:37,225
I-I don't know
what you're talking about.
1747
01:19:37,261 --> 01:19:38,493
Pick a topic.
1748
01:19:38,529 --> 01:19:39,729
Can we please go inside
1749
01:19:39,764 --> 01:19:41,296
and talk about this
for a minute?
1750
01:19:41,331 --> 01:19:42,966
Perfect. I probably wouldn't
have picked that one,
1751
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:44,201
but that's what we're gonna do.
1752
01:19:46,002 --> 01:19:47,470
Hello. This is Selfie Dad.
1753
01:19:47,502 --> 01:19:50,340
And today I'm-a show you
how to go inside
1754
01:19:50,372 --> 01:19:52,274
and talk about it for a minute
with your wife.
1755
01:19:52,309 --> 01:19:55,546
First thing you want to do
is you need to have a wife.
1756
01:19:55,578 --> 01:19:58,681
Don't let her show you how much
you don't want to go inside.
1757
01:19:58,716 --> 01:20:01,653
'Cause who wants to go inside
anyway?
1758
01:20:02,654 --> 01:20:04,220
Okay, okay. Not that one.
1759
01:20:04,252 --> 01:20:05,657
Wait.
1760
01:20:09,359 --> 01:20:11,261
Hey, yo, Selfie Dad here.
1761
01:20:11,295 --> 01:20:13,663
And when your wife says,
"You want to go inside?"
1762
01:20:13,698 --> 01:20:15,599
you better watch out,
'cause you know what happens
1763
01:20:15,631 --> 01:20:16,734
when you go inside, right?
1764
01:20:16,768 --> 01:20:18,335
You end up going outside,
1765
01:20:18,368 --> 01:20:20,569
'cause she's a little loose
on the inside.
1766
01:20:20,604 --> 01:20:23,573
Uh-huh, I'm just, this is...
You know what?
1767
01:20:23,605 --> 01:20:25,743
'Cause I'm Selfie...
1768
01:20:29,046 --> 01:20:32,047
- Aah!
- Oh, my goodness!
1769
01:20:32,082 --> 01:20:33,550
Oh. Are you okay?
1770
01:20:33,582 --> 01:20:34,786
Yeah, I'm good.
1771
01:20:34,819 --> 01:20:36,720
- Well, can I...
- I'm good. No, no, I'm good.
1772
01:20:36,752 --> 01:20:38,087
What happened?
1773
01:20:38,121 --> 01:20:39,221
Aah! I'm-I'm good.
1774
01:20:39,256 --> 01:20:40,792
Packer Tools is junk!
1775
01:20:40,823 --> 01:20:42,725
Packer Tools
is junk!
1776
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:43,795
Ooh, you don't like Jesus.
1777
01:20:43,828 --> 01:20:46,029
Well, you know what?
I hope Jesus don't like you.
1778
01:20:49,166 --> 01:20:50,702
Oh, you gonna tailgate me?
1779
01:20:50,734 --> 01:20:51,635
You gonna... Oh, yeah?
1780
01:20:51,667 --> 01:20:53,703
Well, you know what,
tailgate now, bruh.
1781
01:20:53,738 --> 01:20:56,672
How about that?
1782
01:20:56,707 --> 01:20:57,640
The poli... Really?
1783
01:20:57,675 --> 01:21:00,511
This is what we're doing
right now?
1784
01:21:00,542 --> 01:21:03,313
Probably Packer Tools police
or something.
1785
01:21:03,345 --> 01:21:05,817
Okay. First thing I need to do
1786
01:21:05,850 --> 01:21:07,251
is calm myself down.
1787
01:21:07,283 --> 01:21:09,586
I am getting pulled over
by the police.
1788
01:21:09,618 --> 01:21:12,456
Okay, make a... make a video,
that's what I'm-a do.
1789
01:21:12,488 --> 01:21:14,692
Make sure this angle
on this camera,
1790
01:21:14,725 --> 01:21:16,091
so they could see both of us.
1791
01:21:16,126 --> 01:21:17,694
I got to make a video
for two reasons.
1792
01:21:17,729 --> 01:21:19,060
One, 'cause I'm Selfie Dad.
1793
01:21:19,095 --> 01:21:20,663
Number two...
1794
01:21:20,698 --> 01:21:23,100
I need to make sure
things is safe.
1795
01:21:23,131 --> 01:21:24,769
When the police officer
rolls up,
1796
01:21:24,801 --> 01:21:27,237
make sure that you don't have
more bass than them.
1797
01:21:27,270 --> 01:21:28,773
Try to take all the bass
out your voice.
1798
01:21:28,805 --> 01:21:30,407
Hello, Officer.
1799
01:21:30,439 --> 01:21:31,475
Hello, Officer.
1800
01:21:31,506 --> 01:21:33,408
You need to put the hands
on the steering wheel,
1801
01:21:33,443 --> 01:21:34,578
or they're going
behind your back.
1802
01:21:34,609 --> 01:21:35,845
So we got to work this out.
1803
01:21:35,880 --> 01:21:37,279
Got to work this out. Okay.
1804
01:21:38,448 --> 01:21:41,752
Also, no immediate
eye contact. Mm-mm.
1805
01:21:41,786 --> 01:21:43,420
Only thing turning is
your eyeballs.
1806
01:21:43,453 --> 01:21:45,689
You just don't even move.
Here he come, here he come.
1807
01:21:45,721 --> 01:21:47,792
You're not bad. Breathe.
1808
01:21:47,823 --> 01:21:49,292
Afternoon, sir.
1809
01:21:49,326 --> 01:21:52,194
Hello, Officer.
1810
01:21:52,229 --> 01:21:53,863
H-Hello, Officer.
1811
01:21:53,898 --> 01:21:55,265
How are you?
1812
01:21:55,297 --> 01:21:56,364
Good.
1813
01:21:56,399 --> 01:21:57,634
Clocked you doing 81.
1814
01:21:57,667 --> 01:21:59,269
I'm gonna need to see
your license,
1815
01:21:59,301 --> 01:22:00,537
registration
and proof of insurance.
1816
01:22:00,569 --> 01:22:02,139
Ha-ha!
1817
01:22:02,171 --> 01:22:04,474
It's a...
I thought it was the po-lice.
1818
01:22:04,506 --> 01:22:06,176
It's the bro-lice.
1819
01:22:06,207 --> 01:22:07,176
We gonna be a'ight.
1820
01:22:07,210 --> 01:22:08,680
Ha-ha! What's up, dawg?
1821
01:22:08,712 --> 01:22:10,645
Hey, who your people?
1822
01:22:10,680 --> 01:22:13,515
License, registration,
proof of insurance.
1823
01:22:13,550 --> 01:22:14,850
We went to school together
or something, right?
1824
01:22:14,886 --> 01:22:16,752
No. No,
didn't go to school together.
1825
01:22:16,787 --> 01:22:18,721
Can I see your license, please?
1826
01:22:18,756 --> 01:22:20,890
I thought it was the...
1827
01:22:20,925 --> 01:22:23,193
It's not the bro-lice after all.
1828
01:22:23,225 --> 01:22:24,627
It's... Yeah.
1829
01:22:24,662 --> 01:22:25,697
Let me get it for you. Cool.
1830
01:22:25,729 --> 01:22:28,163
- You know, have you ever seen me before?
- No.
1831
01:22:28,198 --> 01:22:29,431
I haven't seen you before,
1832
01:22:29,466 --> 01:22:31,234
but I will when you give me
your license,
1833
01:22:31,268 --> 01:22:32,536
your registration
and proof of insurance.
1834
01:22:32,569 --> 01:22:34,171
I'm not gonna
keep saying it, sir.
1835
01:22:34,203 --> 01:22:35,639
All right,
calm yourself down, bruh.
1836
01:22:35,671 --> 01:22:38,239
Hey, I got a Selfie Dad mug.
You want a Selfie Dad mug?
1837
01:22:38,274 --> 01:22:39,877
- You drink coffee, right?
- Are you trying to bribe me, sir?
1838
01:22:39,911 --> 01:22:43,180
No, I know you like doughnuts.
I got some coffee or something.
1839
01:22:43,212 --> 01:22:45,817
- You get a mug... Okay, let me get it for you real quick.
- Hey, sir?
1840
01:22:45,850 --> 01:22:47,652
- Keep your hands on the steering wheel, please.
- I'm-a show you
1841
01:22:47,685 --> 01:22:48,585
- this thing real quick. What? What?
- Hey!
1842
01:22:48,618 --> 01:22:50,554
I'm gonna need you
to step out of the car.
1843
01:22:50,587 --> 01:22:52,488
- Aah! No!
- Hey!
1844
01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:54,725
Keep your hands
where I can see them.
1845
01:22:59,697 --> 01:23:02,131
Marcus. Your ride's here.
1846
01:23:05,903 --> 01:23:07,537
Rough day?
1847
01:23:07,569 --> 01:23:09,739
Uh, you could say that.
1848
01:23:10,908 --> 01:23:12,609
Hey, where's my car?
1849
01:23:12,643 --> 01:23:14,746
The impound lot.
I'll drive you.
1850
01:23:15,779 --> 01:23:18,346
So, now what, Mr. Miyagi?
1851
01:23:18,381 --> 01:23:20,818
I guess we just, uh...
1852
01:23:20,850 --> 01:23:23,386
need a big finish for my paper.
1853
01:23:24,854 --> 01:23:26,622
"Big finish for my paper"?
1854
01:23:26,658 --> 01:23:28,425
Dude, I don't know,
1855
01:23:28,457 --> 01:23:30,862
man, I just feel like I've blown
it one too many times, man,
1856
01:23:30,895 --> 01:23:34,296
and I...
probably gonna blow it again.
1857
01:23:34,331 --> 01:23:37,332
When your kids mess up,
do you ever stop loving them?
1858
01:23:37,367 --> 01:23:40,435
No, of course not.
1859
01:23:40,470 --> 01:23:42,404
You will always love them,
no matter what,
1860
01:23:42,439 --> 01:23:43,939
because that's
what a good father does.
1861
01:23:43,975 --> 01:23:46,207
And God is the perfect Father.
1862
01:23:46,243 --> 01:23:49,779
And when you're His child,
He loves you no matter what.
1863
01:23:49,814 --> 01:23:53,550
Give Him your whole life.
Confess your sins.
1864
01:23:53,582 --> 01:23:55,920
And if you feel
you went wrong with people,
1865
01:23:55,953 --> 01:23:57,520
confess it to them.
1866
01:23:57,554 --> 01:24:00,256
You study the Word
and know the Word,
1867
01:24:00,288 --> 01:24:02,292
and the more you live it out...
1868
01:24:02,323 --> 01:24:04,461
the more you're gonna find
that real thing
1869
01:24:04,493 --> 01:24:05,997
that you've been looking for.
1870
01:24:06,029 --> 01:24:08,363
What's that?
1871
01:24:08,398 --> 01:24:09,966
Peace.
1872
01:24:22,645 --> 01:24:25,282
I've been looking
at stuff online
1873
01:24:25,314 --> 01:24:27,917
that I shouldn't.
1874
01:24:27,952 --> 01:24:29,819
Oh.
1875
01:24:29,854 --> 01:24:32,488
And Rosie fired me,
but I really...
1876
01:24:32,520 --> 01:24:34,457
I probably deserved it.
1877
01:24:36,961 --> 01:24:38,930
The other night...
1878
01:24:38,962 --> 01:24:40,965
at the awards show...
1879
01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:46,837
So, there was
this lady named Laurie...
1880
01:24:46,871 --> 01:24:48,404
and nothing happened.
1881
01:24:48,438 --> 01:24:51,306
I know.
I saw the text she sent you.
1882
01:24:54,746 --> 01:24:58,546
That you texted her
that your family comes first.
1883
01:25:01,417 --> 01:25:05,622
And that she shouldn't
contact you anymore.
1884
01:25:08,792 --> 01:25:12,295
I prayed for you
that whole night.
1885
01:25:18,033 --> 01:25:20,904
Okay. Um...
1886
01:25:20,938 --> 01:25:22,073
Wow.
1887
01:25:22,104 --> 01:25:24,541
Um...
1888
01:25:26,643 --> 01:25:28,411
Okay, well,
there's one more thing.
1889
01:25:28,444 --> 01:25:31,916
You know when we go to Costco,
and I act like
1890
01:25:31,948 --> 01:25:34,551
I'm actually gonna buy
something from the samples?
1891
01:25:34,582 --> 01:25:36,417
I'm just...
I just want the samples.
1892
01:25:36,453 --> 01:25:37,755
I'm not gonna...
1893
01:25:37,787 --> 01:25:39,689
I-I forgive you for everything.
1894
01:25:39,724 --> 01:25:41,556
So delicious, the little...
1895
01:25:41,591 --> 01:25:42,827
Oh, oh!
1896
01:25:42,859 --> 01:25:45,095
Yeah.
1897
01:25:45,127 --> 01:25:47,698
That's why you're here?
1898
01:25:47,730 --> 01:25:49,698
Yeah, man, I just had to
get it off my chest.
1899
01:25:49,734 --> 01:25:51,868
I did a lot of personal stuff
on work time, so...
1900
01:25:51,903 --> 01:25:54,069
Oh, I heard you the first time.
1901
01:25:54,104 --> 01:25:56,006
I've just never known
anybody to admit that.
1902
01:25:56,038 --> 01:25:59,076
Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm
sorry and, you know, thank you.
1903
01:25:59,109 --> 01:26:00,443
I appreciate it.
1904
01:26:00,475 --> 01:26:02,444
Oh, wait.
1905
01:26:04,613 --> 01:26:06,082
This is yours.
1906
01:26:06,117 --> 01:26:07,652
I accepted it for you.
1907
01:26:09,020 --> 01:26:11,122
You know, Rosie never shuts up
about you now.
1908
01:26:11,154 --> 01:26:13,590
She chased Richard off,
and whoever I bring in,
1909
01:26:13,622 --> 01:26:15,457
she just compares them to you.
1910
01:26:15,492 --> 01:26:18,029
But I told her that you were on
to bigger and better things.
1911
01:26:18,060 --> 01:26:19,831
Am I right?
1912
01:26:29,171 --> 01:26:31,372
How'd it go?
1913
01:26:33,778 --> 01:26:35,412
What is that?
1914
01:26:35,444 --> 01:26:38,082
Uh, the number one
reality show editor.
1915
01:26:38,113 --> 01:26:41,685
My award-winning husband.
1916
01:26:41,719 --> 01:26:45,689
And... Steve offered me
my job back.
1917
01:26:45,721 --> 01:26:47,555
Are you serious?
1918
01:26:47,591 --> 01:26:50,761
Then, he goes to legal
1919
01:26:50,795 --> 01:26:54,029
and has them look at
my Packer contract.
1920
01:26:54,064 --> 01:26:56,033
All they can do is
stop future payments.
1921
01:26:56,067 --> 01:26:57,768
They can't ask for
any money in return.
1922
01:26:57,801 --> 01:27:00,069
Oh, wow.
1923
01:27:01,805 --> 01:27:06,109
Are you gonna... take your job?
1924
01:27:06,143 --> 01:27:08,011
Yeah.
1925
01:27:08,045 --> 01:27:11,782
But here is the craziest part.
1926
01:27:13,850 --> 01:27:17,554
Steve actually hinted that
they may have some interest
1927
01:27:17,587 --> 01:27:19,823
in doing a Selfie Dad TV show.
1928
01:27:23,560 --> 01:27:24,662
But here's the thing.
1929
01:27:24,694 --> 01:27:28,765
I'm cool with editing
or doing comedy or a TV show.
1930
01:27:28,797 --> 01:27:33,203
I only want to do
what God asks me to do.
1931
01:27:33,237 --> 01:27:36,140
And my family comes first,
1932
01:27:36,171 --> 01:27:39,042
'cause I know that's what
He wants.
1933
01:27:39,076 --> 01:27:41,542
So I'm good either way.
1934
01:27:41,578 --> 01:27:42,880
I'm good.
1935
01:27:42,912 --> 01:27:45,814
I mean... we're good.
1936
01:27:45,850 --> 01:27:49,020
You're home.
It's blowing up.
1937
01:27:49,051 --> 01:27:51,154
It's going bigger than
the toilet video.
1938
01:27:51,188 --> 01:27:53,157
You know what,
'cause I'm Selfie...
1939
01:27:53,189 --> 01:27:55,725
I can't believe you posted this.
1940
01:27:57,828 --> 01:27:59,194
- Aah!
- Oh, my goodness!
1941
01:27:59,229 --> 01:28:01,797
- It looked so real.
- Heh.
1942
01:28:01,832 --> 01:28:04,001
You know what, I'm a good actor.
1943
01:28:04,033 --> 01:28:06,671
You've got one-ninth
of your subscribers back.
1944
01:28:06,703 --> 01:28:09,038
You're not mad at me?
1945
01:28:09,073 --> 01:28:12,109
What, for posting this video?
1946
01:28:12,143 --> 01:28:13,978
Dude, nah.
Give me a hug, man.
1947
01:28:14,011 --> 01:28:16,912
Ow. Wait, dude. Hold on.
1948
01:28:16,948 --> 01:28:18,716
You know what...
1949
01:28:20,984 --> 01:28:22,819
This is awkward.
1950
01:28:22,853 --> 01:28:24,889
Oh, I love these orchids.
1951
01:28:24,921 --> 01:28:27,858
They will add such elegance
to your garden.
1952
01:28:27,890 --> 01:28:29,091
They always do.
1953
01:28:29,126 --> 01:28:31,028
And if you plant a white orchid,
1954
01:28:31,060 --> 01:28:34,064
that means forgiveness.
1955
01:28:34,096 --> 01:28:37,201
This is Rosie's Roses.
1956
01:28:37,234 --> 01:28:39,804
You keep planting,
and keep loving.
1957
01:28:41,706 --> 01:28:43,238
Thoughts?
1958
01:28:45,242 --> 01:28:48,078
Well, I've... I've seen better.
1959
01:28:48,112 --> 01:28:49,880
But at least you
got it in on time.
1960
01:28:49,912 --> 01:28:52,582
This time, I'm saying.
1961
01:28:52,613 --> 01:28:55,518
Yes. So, there's that.
1962
01:28:57,154 --> 01:28:58,520
Well, I can't think of anything
1963
01:28:58,555 --> 01:28:59,855
off the top of my head
right now.
1964
01:28:59,890 --> 01:29:01,524
Good. Great job.
1965
01:29:01,556 --> 01:29:03,859
Cool. Wait. Whoa, whoa,
before you go, hold on.
1966
01:29:03,894 --> 01:29:06,229
Uh, I got something for you.
1967
01:29:07,965 --> 01:29:08,931
Welcome back.
1968
01:29:08,966 --> 01:29:10,801
Men are so strange.
1969
01:29:10,835 --> 01:29:12,868
Yes, you're just...
1970
01:29:12,903 --> 01:29:14,770
Just-just there.
1971
01:29:14,805 --> 01:29:17,675
That's-that's what you do.
1972
01:29:19,243 --> 01:29:20,711
Oh, hush.
1973
01:30:06,189 --> 01:30:08,292
No, without a doubt,
the best part has been
1974
01:30:08,323 --> 01:30:09,894
getting to know you guys.
1975
01:30:09,926 --> 01:30:12,127
You are such a gem.
1976
01:30:12,162 --> 01:30:14,595
- We're gonna miss you, Mickey.
- Yeah.
1977
01:30:14,631 --> 01:30:16,100
Well, hey, I can still
come visit.
1978
01:30:16,131 --> 01:30:17,368
You know, maybe you guys can
1979
01:30:17,399 --> 01:30:20,104
make a trip up to Seattle
sometime.
1980
01:30:20,136 --> 01:30:22,872
Sounds good, man.
1981
01:30:22,907 --> 01:30:25,140
And, Hannah, maybe you and...
maybe you and your dad
1982
01:30:25,176 --> 01:30:26,844
could read that
little book together.
1983
01:30:26,877 --> 01:30:28,645
- We have been.
- Yeah, dude, I...
1984
01:30:28,679 --> 01:30:29,947
I owe you a lot, man.
1985
01:30:29,979 --> 01:30:31,314
Nah, you don't owe me.
1986
01:30:31,346 --> 01:30:34,085
And, hey, off the strength
of punching a wall,
1987
01:30:34,118 --> 01:30:35,786
Selfie Dad's back.
1988
01:30:35,819 --> 01:30:38,756
What are you gonna do
for your encore?
1989
01:30:38,787 --> 01:30:40,689
Yo, Selfie Dad here.
1990
01:30:40,724 --> 01:30:41,859
I'm excited to be back.
1991
01:30:41,890 --> 01:30:43,292
I'm excited to be doing
another video.
1992
01:30:43,327 --> 01:30:44,627
My hand's all good.
1993
01:30:44,662 --> 01:30:46,296
There's a hole in the wall
like this.
1994
01:30:46,328 --> 01:30:48,797
First of all, let me...
I want to apologize,
1995
01:30:48,832 --> 01:30:50,966
because before,
I was saying some stuff
1996
01:30:51,001 --> 01:30:52,203
to talk about the Bible.
1997
01:30:52,234 --> 01:30:54,770
You just want me to be funny,
so hey, if that's the case,
1998
01:30:54,805 --> 01:30:57,806
I'm not gonna mention
"the Bible" anymore.
1999
01:30:57,841 --> 01:31:00,010
I've decided that the best thing
for me to do
2000
01:31:00,042 --> 01:31:01,912
is to just, uh, call it...
2001
01:31:01,944 --> 01:31:04,247
call it the Word of God, yeah.
2002
01:31:04,279 --> 01:31:05,850
Anyway, I said I want
to apologize.
2003
01:31:05,881 --> 01:31:07,384
I didn't say I was gonna do it.
2004
01:31:07,417 --> 01:31:09,653
If you don't like me
talking about God's Word,
2005
01:31:09,685 --> 01:31:11,689
then, you know, your bad.
You know?
2006
01:31:11,720 --> 01:31:13,323
You don't gotta watch.
You can take it off...
2007
01:31:13,355 --> 01:31:16,327
What?! That's it?
2008
01:31:16,359 --> 01:31:19,796
Hey, what are you doing here?
2009
01:31:19,828 --> 01:31:22,265
I'm Selfie Daughter...
by the way.
2010
01:31:22,297 --> 01:31:23,466
Selfie Daughter.
2011
01:31:23,501 --> 01:31:28,037
Why don't you explain to them
why the Bible is so cool?
2012
01:31:28,072 --> 01:31:30,073
Then they would want to
keep watching,
2013
01:31:30,105 --> 01:31:32,143
and they might even want
to read the Bible.
2014
01:31:32,176 --> 01:31:34,011
All right, so I'm gonna
explain to you why.
2015
01:31:34,042 --> 01:31:38,314
Mainly because it is literally
God's Word.
2016
01:31:38,349 --> 01:31:41,283
He left an instruction booklet
for us.
2017
01:31:41,318 --> 01:31:43,287
Why do you think it's important?
2018
01:31:46,390 --> 01:31:49,393
Um, because I've seen how
2019
01:31:49,426 --> 01:31:51,729
God has changed my dad.
2020
01:31:54,832 --> 01:31:58,100
So, the reason why
the Bible is important
2021
01:31:58,135 --> 01:32:02,104
is because, before, I had this,
but I didn't even see it
2022
01:32:02,139 --> 01:32:05,743
until I opened up the Bible,
2023
01:32:05,774 --> 01:32:07,743
and then it opened me up.
2024
01:32:07,778 --> 01:32:09,947
So I'm in.
2025
01:32:09,979 --> 01:32:12,448
Are you?
2026
01:32:12,483 --> 01:32:15,152
Mubiru John from Uganda.
2027
01:32:17,087 --> 01:32:18,822
We're E58 Hiking Group...
2028
01:32:18,854 --> 01:32:20,256
And we're in!
2029
01:32:20,291 --> 01:32:22,760
We are the Gagnons.
We're in!
2030
01:32:22,792 --> 01:32:25,496
We're the Rolleys.
We live in Castaic. We're in!
2031
01:32:25,529 --> 01:32:27,796
- I'm all in.
- I'm in.
2032
01:32:27,831 --> 01:32:30,167
I'm in. I'm in.
2033
01:32:30,201 --> 01:32:33,871
♪ So I step to the edge
and I... ♪
2034
01:32:33,904 --> 01:32:36,171
We are all in!
2035
01:32:36,207 --> 01:32:37,341
We're all in.
2036
01:32:37,372 --> 01:32:39,310
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
2037
01:32:40,810 --> 01:32:43,011
- I'm in!
- We're in.
2038
01:32:43,046 --> 01:32:45,216
- I'm in.
- We're in!
2039
01:32:45,247 --> 01:32:47,917
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
2040
01:32:47,952 --> 01:32:50,787
- I'm in.
- ♪ I'm going all in... ♪
2041
01:32:50,819 --> 01:32:51,921
We're in.
2042
01:32:53,090 --> 01:32:55,426
I am in.
2043
01:32:56,827 --> 01:32:57,962
Totally in.
2044
01:32:57,993 --> 01:33:00,229
- I'm all in.
- I'm in.
2045
01:33:00,264 --> 01:33:01,863
My name's Linda, and I'm in.
2046
01:33:01,899 --> 01:33:04,234
We're the Shorts, and we're in.
2047
01:33:04,268 --> 01:33:05,836
I'm in. I'm all in.
2048
01:33:05,868 --> 01:33:07,470
The Word of God is alive.
2049
01:33:07,502 --> 01:33:09,907
- I'm in.
- We're in.
2050
01:33:09,939 --> 01:33:12,943
♪ Jesus, I freely give ♪
2051
01:33:12,975 --> 01:33:15,779
♪ As long as there's breath
in these lungs ♪
2052
01:33:15,813 --> 01:33:17,247
♪ I will live ♪
2053
01:33:17,279 --> 01:33:19,783
♪ With reckless abandon ♪
2054
01:33:19,817 --> 01:33:21,350
♪ My heart in Your hands ♪
2055
01:33:21,385 --> 01:33:24,787
♪ I surrender it all... ♪
2056
01:33:24,822 --> 01:33:27,024
- I'm in.
- I'm all in.
2057
01:33:27,055 --> 01:33:29,560
- I'm all in.
- We're in. - I'm in.
2058
01:33:31,462 --> 01:33:32,796
I'm in.
2059
01:33:41,438 --> 01:33:43,274
♪ The deep end ♪
2060
01:33:43,305 --> 01:33:45,376
♪ I'm going all in ♪
2061
01:33:45,408 --> 01:33:50,078
♪ I hear You calling. ♪
2062
01:33:50,113 --> 01:33:53,350
♪ Ooh... ♪
2063
01:33:53,384 --> 01:33:56,953
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
2064
01:33:56,987 --> 01:34:00,157
All scripture
is breathed out by God.
2065
01:34:00,189 --> 01:34:03,091
Great peace have those
who love your law...
2066
01:34:03,127 --> 01:34:05,962
...and nothing can
make them stumble.
2067
01:34:05,996 --> 01:34:08,564
Your Word is a lamp to my feet,
2068
01:34:08,599 --> 01:34:10,434
and a light to my path.
2069
01:34:10,466 --> 01:34:13,069
For the Word of God
is living and active,
2070
01:34:13,103 --> 01:34:15,037
sharper than
any two-edged sword...
2071
01:34:15,072 --> 01:34:18,175
...piercing to the division
of soul and of spirit.
2072
01:34:18,207 --> 01:34:20,010
Man shall not live
by bread alone...
2073
01:34:20,042 --> 01:34:23,514
...but by every word that
proceeds from the mouth of God.
2074
01:34:23,546 --> 01:34:26,448
The grass withers
and the flowers fall,
2075
01:34:26,483 --> 01:34:28,984
but the Word of the Lord
endures forever.
2076
01:34:29,019 --> 01:34:33,189
1 Peter 1:24-25.
2077
01:34:33,221 --> 01:34:36,493
Yo, it's National
Bring Your Bible to School Day.
2078
01:34:36,527 --> 01:34:38,529
You want to make sure
you do that.
2079
01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:39,529
Make sure your kids do it.
2080
01:34:39,563 --> 01:34:40,898
Make sure everybody does it,
2081
01:34:40,930 --> 01:34:42,466
so they can be counted.
2082
01:34:42,497 --> 01:34:44,501
And speaking of counting,
the app don't count.
2083
01:34:44,533 --> 01:34:46,170
Like, you don't
just bring a app,
2084
01:34:46,203 --> 01:34:47,938
'cause that's just, like,
on your phone already.
2085
01:34:47,970 --> 01:34:49,604
Like, bring an actual Bible
to school
2086
01:34:49,640 --> 01:34:51,207
and then maybe crack it open.
2087
01:34:51,239 --> 01:34:52,542
And if you're not in school,
2088
01:34:52,576 --> 01:34:53,975
like if you already graduated,
2089
01:34:54,011 --> 01:34:55,179
don't just get a Bible
and show up,
2090
01:34:55,212 --> 01:34:56,380
'cause that stuff is creepy.
2091
01:34:56,412 --> 01:34:58,247
You just read the Bible
alone somewhere.
2092
01:34:58,282 --> 01:35:00,117
♪ Ooh... ♪
2093
01:35:00,149 --> 01:35:02,286
♪ I was calling out to You ♪
2094
01:35:02,319 --> 01:35:06,122
♪ And You said,
"I'm right here" ♪
2095
01:35:06,154 --> 01:35:08,625
♪ I'm right here ♪
2096
01:35:08,658 --> 01:35:12,962
♪ Oh, don't you know I'm here ♪
2097
01:35:12,996 --> 01:35:15,265
♪ No matter when I call ♪
2098
01:35:15,297 --> 01:35:18,435
♪ He tells me,
"I'm right here" ♪
2099
01:35:18,469 --> 01:35:21,270
♪ I'm right here ♪
2100
01:35:21,305 --> 01:35:25,576
♪ Oh, don't you know I'm here ♪
2101
01:35:25,609 --> 01:35:27,679
♪ No matter when I call ♪
2102
01:35:27,712 --> 01:35:31,081
♪ You tell me,
"I'm right here" ♪
2103
01:35:31,113 --> 01:35:33,117
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Ooh... ♪
2104
01:35:35,386 --> 01:35:37,154
♪ I was sinking,
I was swimming ♪
2105
01:35:37,185 --> 01:35:41,492
♪ I was wondering
if You were here ♪
2106
01:35:41,524 --> 01:35:43,327
♪ It's getting dark
and in my heart ♪
2107
01:35:43,359 --> 01:35:46,563
♪ All that I can feel is fear ♪
2108
01:35:46,595 --> 01:35:50,198
♪ You told me that
You'd never, ever leave me ♪
2109
01:35:50,234 --> 01:35:53,237
♪ And I know that
You'd never, ever lie ♪
2110
01:35:53,270 --> 01:35:56,573
♪ But sometimes when You're
teaching me to trust You ♪
2111
01:35:56,605 --> 01:36:00,411
♪ It's too hard
to swallow all my pride ♪
2112
01:36:00,444 --> 01:36:02,377
♪ See, I was calling out
to You ♪
2113
01:36:02,412 --> 01:36:06,082
♪ And You said,
"I'm right here" ♪
2114
01:36:06,114 --> 01:36:08,653
♪ I'm right here ♪
2115
01:36:08,685 --> 01:36:12,657
♪ Oh, don't you know I'm here? ♪
2116
01:36:12,689 --> 01:36:14,692
♪ No matter when I call ♪
2117
01:36:14,725 --> 01:36:18,595
♪ He tells me,
"I'm right here" ♪
2118
01:36:18,627 --> 01:36:21,296
♪ I'm right here ♪
2119
01:36:21,331 --> 01:36:25,335
♪ Oh, don't you know I'm here? ♪
2120
01:36:25,368 --> 01:36:27,537
♪ No matter when I call ♪
2121
01:36:27,569 --> 01:36:31,542
♪ You tell me,
"I'm right here" ♪
2122
01:36:31,573 --> 01:36:35,345
- ♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
- ♪ Mmm... ♪
2123
01:36:37,479 --> 01:36:38,980
That is so good.
2124
01:36:39,015 --> 01:36:42,085
That is his best video ever.
Wow.
2125
01:36:42,118 --> 01:36:45,154
The secret to all this is
2126
01:36:45,189 --> 01:36:48,256
having a fine blade
2127
01:36:48,292 --> 01:36:51,161
and a steady hand.
2128
01:36:52,563 --> 01:36:55,163
I'm sending this one
to my mom.
2129
01:36:55,363 --> 01:37:02,363
Hellofisherman.com