Anger is a unique emotion and is one of the most referenced emotions in the Bible. It can motivate to appropriate actions and causes (Mark 3:5) or diminish our effectiveness as a believer (Prov. 14:29). The Lord God expressed His wrath many times over people that chose idolatry and hardened their hearts towards His commands. Vine’s Dictionary provides this insight: anger is a natural impulse, desire, or disposition, and is seen as the strongest of all passions. There is little doubt as to why the New Testament instructs believers multiple times to “put off and put away” the destructive side of this emotion (Eph. 4:31, Col. 3:8).
As parents striving to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, we are provided many opportunities to teach, model, and instruct our children in this principle. One of our goals is to help our children grow from self-centered and emotionally driven to a Christ-like example that incorporates a biblical thought and reasoning process. How sad the first set of parents, Adam and Eve, must have been when their own flesh and blood could not manage this emotion (Gen. 4:5-8). In one day they lost two children: one to death, the other to exile.
Solomon reminds us that there is nothing new “under the sun” (Eccl. 1:14), and therefore parents need to be proactive in the everyday task of helping their children learn the wisdom of how to experience the emotion (be ye angry), and yet make good choices (sin not). The context of this article will encourage parents to “examine themselves” first in how they can avoid “provoking their children to anger” (Col. 3:21) . The author, Lou Priolo, outlines in his book on this topic, “The Heart of Anger”, 25 ways that parents can unknowingly create anger and frustration in their children. A summary of those ways is as follows:
1. The Lack of Marital Harmony:婚姻不和睦
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen. 2:24) Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled. (Heb. 12:15)
It is easy to understand why this is the first one mentioned. A painfully accurate overview is evident by the statement: “perhaps the greatest provocation of anger in children is parents who do not live with each other in the harmony that the Scriptures prescribe”.1 As Gen. 2:24 lays the foundation, that a husband and wife who does not develop the “one flesh” intimacy as intended by God; and over time, various other problems will develop. Additional correlations between lack of marital harmony and angry children are seen in the effect that bitterness has on the human spirit. As children observe the resentment that results from their parents’ lack of harmony, they can be more susceptible to acquiring those bitter thoughts, motives, attitudes, and actions that have been modeled to them.
2. Establishing and Maintaining a Child-Centered Home:家庭以孩子为中心
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Prov. 29:15)
If parents do not know how to set up a Christ-Centered Home (which is defined as: each member understanding his/her biblical role in the family and is committed to place Christ above self), then the home is likely to be Child-Centered. It is a foundational principle that the husband and wife work at being closer to each other than to the child. If that does not occur, the child may view himself as equal and will tend to become angry when his desires do not get placed on equal status as the needs and desires of the parent.
3. Modeling Sinful Anger:不合宜发怒的榜样
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. (Prov. 22:24-25)
When parents model sinful anger, the child may accidently be taught the only way to solve problems is to win. There are many “teachable moments” to be had with our children in helping them observe how sinfully expressed anger by others can bring many consequences.
4. Habitually Disciplining While Angry:经常在怒气中管教
O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. (Ps. 38:1) Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)
When a parent is angry, it is easy to over-discipline. That anger may be perceived as a personal attack and the discipline seen as vindictive (revengeful) instead of corrective. Stress from work, finances, marital and family struggles can all add to the parent’s frustration that is then passed to the child.
5. Scolding:漫骂
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (Eph. 4:29)
By definition, scolding is to rebuke someone angrily; using harsh language especially when complaining or finding fault. While scolding may make the speaker feel better, it does little to biblically “train or instruct”.
6. Being Inconsistent with Discipline:管教不一致
When I therefore was thus minded did I use lightness? Or the things that I purpose, do I purpose according to the flesh, that with me there should be yea yea and nay nay? But as God is true, our word toward you was not yea and nay. (2 Cor. 1:17- 18) Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. (Eccl. 8:11)
There are two common types of inconsistent discipline. One type is utilizing different parental standards of discipline. In other words, dad believes a certain behavior is wrong and mom sees nothing wrong with it or vise versa. The second is in how parents are daily inconsistent on what is punishable behavior, and/or how severe the punishment will be. Both types can bring undue frustration to children.
7. Having Double Standards:双重标准
These things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me do: and the God of peace shall be with you. (Phil. 4:9)
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (Jam 1:8)
A parent who uses the bible to teach and instruct their child in righteousness, but is not willing to practice that same standard in their own life, is fitting the definition of a hypocrite. A hypocritical home will often provoke a child. “Do as I say and not as I do” may work temporarily in an employer/employee relationship, but it has no application for a believing parent .
8. Being Legalistic:律法主义
This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. (Matt. 15:8-9)
In detailing this section, the author states, “God has given each set of Christian parents the responsibility to develop from Scripture a biblically based economy or “law of the house” for their children to abide by. This collection of house expectations or rules contains two basic sections: God’s Law (biblically directed rules like the 10 commandments) and Parent’s Law (biblically derived rules like bedtime, chores, food choices, etc.)” 2 The particular type of legalism that can provoke anger is when parents present their Parent’s Law as unchangeable and can never be appealed. As children mature and establish trust and respect, there should be an opportunity for them to exercise appropriate expanding of responsibility and that trust. A rigid, one size rule that must fit all the kids all the time may lead to unnecessary provoking.
9: Not Admitting You’re Wrong and Not Asking For Forgiveness:不承认错误不寻求饶恕
Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. (Matt. 5:23-24) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one to another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16)
Due to human nature, parents will make mistakes. However, the failure to acknowledge these mistakes committed against children often discourages the children from practicing open and appropriate communication. When children perceive such insensitivity (and maybe even pride) in the parents, they may wrongly conclude that it’s no use trying to talk to them about the what happened. It’s easy to learn that a wrong decision needs no apology if you’re in the position of power.
10. Constantly Finding Fault:经常找孩子的错误
Also against his (Elihu) three friends was his wrath kindled, because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job. (Job 32:3)
Elihu was frustrated for the condemning statements without accurately pinpointing what had been done wrong. This area is not about diminishing the parent’s responsibility to point out sinful behavior and character deficiencies in the child. It is rather the continuous critical, condemning, accusing, and judgmental attitude that can be mistaken as providing “reproof”. For a child that grows up in that environment, he can often begin to believe that his parents are never or rarely pleased with him.
11. Parents Reversing God-Given Roles:丈夫妻子角色颠倒
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. (Eph. 5:22-23,24)
Consequences that tend to promote frustration are unavoidable when God’s order in the home is violated. Wives can become embittered over husbands not managing their homes biblically as the head and leadership role requires. Husbands grow in frustration as their wives either undermine their parenting efforts or have to compensate for their lack of parenting initiative and participation. Children are often left confused and uncertain about parent’s behavior and without needed modeling for future generations.
12. Not Listening to Your Child’s Opinion or Taking His or Her “Side of the Story” Seriously:不听孩子的想法或不看重孩子想说的
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. (Prov. 18:13) He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him. (Prov. 18:17)
Children can be difficult to fill with truth unless they are emptied of their self and those issues that worry and concern them. A parent doesn’t always need to agree with their child’s reasoning, conclusions and opinions, but should focus on how to lead them to the truth. That path to truth is strengthened when parents take the time to understand their child’s perspective. To gain that perspective, parents need to have conversations with their children and display the skill of listening to comprehend and not just to respond.
13. Comparing Them to Others:和别人比较
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Cor. 10:12)
God blesses every child with unique gifts and talents. It is important for a child to learn at an early age “not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith” (Rom. 12:3). Children that live in the constant shadow of another sibling or child will tend to over-focus or over-promote their accomplishments or lose the sound judgment of appreciating their God-given worth.
14. Not Making Time “Just to Talk”:没花时间和孩子谈天
Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. (Jam. 1:19) A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak: (Eccl. 3:7)
Relationships are the key to “training up your child” and they are impossible to build without communication. Moms and dads are under constant pressure from the requirements (and pleasures) of life that can keep them from spending enough time engaging in the “sharing and caring” process with their child. Parents that are overwhelmed with those pressures, rarely establish those strong and significant parent/child relationships.
15. Not Praising or Encouraging Your Child:没有赞扬或鼓励孩子
I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ. (1 Cor. 1:4)
Building an accurate self-perception in a child involves them clearly understanding not only what is wrong and needs to be corrected, but also of what is right and pleasing to God. It is too easy for parents to focus only on the wrong, and consequently, their children tend to evaluate themselves inaccurately. Their self-perceptions become distorted instead of sober (Rom. 12:3) and true (Phil. 4:8). Generic and inflated praise diminishes this self-perception, while the opposite, specific and targeted appreciate helps build a “sober and true” self- perception.
16. Failing to Keep Your Promises:没有信守承诺
But let your communication be, Yea yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. (Matt. 5:37) Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds. (Col. 3:9)
Most moms and dads have every intention of honoring their commitments to their children. When promises and commitments are not consistently kept (regardless of reason) and no attempt is made to modify the promise or seek forgiveness from the child for breaking that promise, the child’s disappointment can turn into anger. If the string of broken promises continue to grow, so will the child’s view that his parents are undependable, unreliable, and possibly even deceitful.
17. Chastening in Front of Others:在别人面前惩诫孩子
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (Matt. 18:15)
This principle presented in Matthew works well in the church family and is also sound practice for individuals within their family unit. The goal of chastening is to prevent a sinful action from becoming a sinful habit. If a child is acting sinfully and inappropriate in the presence of his peers and others, then he may in certain cases be verbally rebuked in their presence. However, if the misbehavior is not public, the discipline process should be handled privately and securely between child and parent.
18. Not Allowing Enough Freedom:没有给予足够的自由
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated (reasonable). (Jam. 3:17a) For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more. (Luke 12:48b)
Children should be taught that freedom in not a right, but a privilege than can be earned by demonstrating their faithfulness to mom and dad’s expectations. That faithfulness involves demonstrating to God and parents that the child can be trusted with increased freedom on at least two things: the successful fulfillment of specific responsibilities and the successive competence to make biblically wise decisions. 3
Though some parents may struggle with over-protectiveness or insecurity, their children may often become exasperated, discourage, and even rebellious if not provided with trust-building and freedom-growing opportunities.
19: Allowing Too Much Freedom:给予太多的自由
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Prov. 29:15) Now I say, that the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all; But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed to the father. (Gal. 4:1-2)
When children are allowed to (1) practice sinful behavior, or (2) indulge in non-sinful activities that are in excess of what their maturity and responsibility levels can process, or (3) live an undisciplined life that allows them to receive what they demand, other problems often develop4. Children that grow up in homes that allow too much freedom and not enough discipline often perceive that they are not loved by their parents.
20: Mocking Your Child:拿孩子的弱点开玩笑
Are there not mockers with me? And doth not mine eye continue in their provocation? (Job 17:1-2) And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I the Lord? (Ex. 4:11)
The many silly actions and awkward behaviors of kids will often produce moments that a parent can acknowledge them with a teasing, making fun, or mimicking response. A lighthearted and spontaneous moment is one of the joys of parenting, but for the child’s sake, parents should never respond consistently with a ridiculing or mocking attitude. Parents should especially be sensitive to the areas of their child’s inadequacies about which the child can do very little. Some general examples include intelligence, athletic abilities, physical features, and motor coordination.
21: Abusing Them Physically:身体上虐待
Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous: (1Tim.3:3) And when the ass saw the angel of the Lord, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam’s anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff. (Num. 22:27)
As parents model being the “bishops” of their home (I Tim. 3:2), there are great benefits in exercising patience and avoiding the “striker” (brawling or bullying) mode of responding. There is also wisdom in not repeating Balaam’s reactionary approach to disciplining: (1) he had not collected all the relevant information, (2) he responded out of being embarrassed or unfulfilled expectations, (3) he was consumed with anger and out of control.
22: Ridiculing or Name Calling:奚落嘲笑孩子
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (Eph. 4:29)
Some behavior categories need to be named. God used names to identify those who were living in an unhealthy sin. Some of those names included: slothful, foolish, double-minded, deceitful, self-centered, and idolatrous. Utilizing earthly insults such as idiot, stupid, moron, lazy, etc. don’t provide a biblical corrective direction. As a tool, the “name” (and only if such behavior is repeatedly portrayed) can serve to motivate a child to change. As a punitive weapon, the repetitive use of the insult only embarrasses, shames, or antagonizes the child.
23. Unrealistic Expectations:不切实际的期望
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Cor. 13:11)
Parents should try and remember that the Bible acknowledges that children speak, think and reason differently from adults. This process takes time and occurs at varying rates depending on the child. Frustration for both child and parent is probable when parents impose standards that their children are developmentally incapable of performing.
24. Practicing Favoritism:偏爱
And he (elder son) answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: (Luke 15:29)
The prodigal’s father rightly rejoiced, but the brother wrongly perceived that his father was showing favoritism. The human nature can be a powerful “score keeper”. Since siblings are rarely carbon copies of each other, they should be treated as individuals. In contrast, the standards by which each child is evaluated and by which parents respond to each child, should be identical (a point that the older son failed to understand). Some children experience hurt and bitterness in homes where parents fail to communicate this standard and neglect to reassure their children through the ongoing evaluation process.
25. Child Training with World Methodologies Inconsistent with God’s Word:用世俗不合圣经的方式管教孩子
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4)
There are two ways being contrasted for fathers (parents) to “bring up” their children. Raising a child properly in the discipline and instruction of the Lord will not provoke them to anger, but jumping to each new parenting technique probably will. Parents without a biblically-built framework for creating structure and order in their home will find additional challenges and struggles with raising their children. This challenge will especially be magnified in the high-need, strong willed child.
Conclusion:
Those that are parents, or provide for the care and education of children, are indeed blessed with the heritage of the Lord (Ps. 127:3). Helping children learn how to discern and appropriately respond to anger is vital for healthy families and churches. An unresolved hurt and wounded spirit usually progresses down a path of destruction: from hurt to bitterness, then anger, then stubbornness and finally rebellion5.
While this article does not address specific skills for children to use in learning how to manage anger and frustration, it does provide an outline for strengthening parent’s awareness of possible trigger points in children. Some children’s personalities and temperaments are going to require additional help from mom and dad in learning these skills. Those efforts for children needing to learn the balance of emotions and actions are going to be well pleasing to God.
References
可以帮助父母与学龄前孩子相处的30个要点以及相关经文
父母与学龄前孩子相处要旨(A PARENT’S CHECKLIST FROM BSF NOTES)
1. 拥抱我的孩子, 对他说 “我爱你”。 ( 「于是起来往他父亲那里去。相离还远，他父亲看见，就动了慈心，跑去抱着他的颈项，连连与他亲嘴。」路 15:20)
2. 特别为我的孩子祷告。 (「又求你赐我儿子所罗门诚实的心，遵守你的命令，法度，律例」代上 29:19)
3. 当我的孩子想要和我交谈时， 仔细倾听。 （「凡为我的名，接待一个像这小孩子的，就是接待我。」太 18:5）
4. 读书给我的孩子听。 （「众子阿，要听父亲的教训，留心得知聪明。 因我所给你们的，是好教训。不可离弃我的法则。（或作指教）我在父亲面前为孝子，在母亲眼中为独一的娇儿。 父亲教训我说，你心要存记我的言语，遵守我的命令，便得存活。」箴 4:1-4）
5. 与我的孩子谈论上帝。 （「你只要谨慎，殷勤保守你的心灵，免得忘记你亲眼所看见的事，又免得你一生，这事离开你的心。总要传给你的子子孙孙。你在何烈山站在耶和华你神面前的那日，耶和华对我说，你为我招聚百姓，我要叫他们听见我的话，使他们存活在世的日子，可以学习敬畏我，又可以教训儿女这样行。」申 4:10）
6. 期待孩子顺服。 （「好好管理自己的家，使儿女凡事端庄顺服。」提前 3:4）
7. 对孩子有耐心。 （「爱是恒久忍耐，」林前 13:4）
8. 和我的孩子一起唱歌，听音乐。 （诗篇）
9. 怀着敬爱之情谈论孩子的爸爸/妈妈。 （「你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，这在主里面是相宜的。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，不可苦待她们。」歌罗西书 3:19）
10. 不要期待孩子做出超过他这个年龄所能做的行为。 （「我作孩子的时候，话语像孩子，心思像孩子，意念像孩子。既成了人，就把孩子的事丢弃了。」林前 13:11）
11. 用恰当的方式处罚孩子的悖逆。 (「 我耶和华是鉴察人心，试验人肺腑的，要照各人所行的和他作事的结果报应他。」耶17:10)
12. 帮助我的孩子学习新事物。 （「耶稣的智慧和身量，（身量或作年纪）并神和人喜爱他的心，都一齐增长。」路2：52）
13. 鼓励孩子为别人服务。 （「所以有了机会，就当向众人行善。向信徒一家的人更当这样。」加6：10）
14. 保护我的孩子不受邪灵和坏的影响。 （「不喜欢不义。只喜欢真理。凡事包容。凡事相信。凡事盼望。凡事忍耐。」林前 13：6-7）
15. 挑战并帮助我的孩子去做他认为不可能做到的事。 （「勉励灰心的人。」帖前5：14）
16. 不在发怒时惩罚孩子。 （「耶和华有怜悯，有恩典，不轻易发怒，且有丰盛的慈爱。他不长久责备，也不永远怀怒。他没有按我们的罪过待我们，也没有照我们的罪孽报应我们。天离地何等的高，他的慈爱向敬畏他的人，也是何等的大。东离西有多远，他叫我们的过犯，离我们也有多远。父亲怎样怜恤他的儿女，耶和华也怎样怜恤敬畏他的人。」诗103:8-14)
17. 在行为举止上为孩子做榜样。 （「你们中间，谁有儿子求饼，反给他石头呢？求鱼，反给他蛇呢？你们虽然不好，尚且知道拿好东西给儿女，何况你们在天上的父，岂不更把好东西给求他的人吗？所以无论何事，你们愿意人怎样待你们，你们也要怎样待人。因为这就是律法和先知的道理。」太7：9-12）
18. 称赞我的孩子一样好的性格品质。 （「圣灵所结的果子，就是仁爱，喜乐，和平，忍耐，恩慈，良善，信实，温柔，节制。」加5：22-23）
19. 读圣经给孩子听。 （「并且知道你是从小明白圣经。这圣经能使你因信基督耶稣有得救的智慧。」提摩太后书 3：15）
20. 与孩子一起祷告。 （「我又告诉你们，若是你们中间有两个人在地上，同心合意地求什么事，我在天上的父，必为他们成全。因为无论在哪里，有两三个人奉我的名聚会，那里就有我在他们中间。」太18：19-20）
21. 让孩子效法那些我希望他拥有的素质。 （「所以我求你们效法我。」林前4：16）
22. 与孩子一起欢笑， 而不嘲笑孩子。 （「与喜乐的人要同乐。」罗12：15）
23. 为孩子做的事道谢。 （「凡事谢恩。因为这是神在基督耶稣里向你们所定的旨意。」帖撒罗尼迦前书5：18）
24. 让孩子承担一些责任。 （「并且我们的人要学习正经事业，（或作要学习行善）预备所需用的，免得不结果子。」提多书3：14）
25. 当着孩子的面不要给予负面的评论。 （「说话浮躁的，如刀刺人。智慧人的舌头，却为医人的良药。」箴言12：18）
26. 对孩子的表扬与感谢多于批评。 （「良言如同蜂房，使心觉甘甜，使骨得医治。」箴言16：24）
27. 我做错事时请求孩子的原谅。 （「神阻挡骄傲的人，赐恩给谦卑的人」。雅各书4：6）
28. 立即原谅孩子的过错。 （「赦免他，安慰他，免得他忧愁太过，甚至沉沦了。所以我劝你们，要向他显出坚定不移的爱心来。」林后2：7-8）
29. 花时间与孩子单独相处。 （「也要殷勤教训你的儿女。无论你坐在家里，行在路上，躺下，起来，都要谈论。」申6：7）
30. 不向承诺自己做不到的事。 （「你许愿不还，不如不许。」传道书5：5）
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編者按
本期為大家提供了一些固定的禱告文，可以在日常禱告中使用。除了每日為兒女的救恩禱告之外，作者分了31個禱告主題，我們建議你可以每月按日期使用。這些固定的禱告詞可以視為一種示範，幫助你建立為兒女禱告的習慣。在持續按照這些主題為兒女禱告的時候，你需要查看附加的參考經文以及其他相關經文，根據實際狀況和經文的激勵，添加自己的禱告詞，或是添加新的禱告主題。
每日為他們的救恩禱告：
「天父，請藉著你的靈在我的孩子裡面做工，使他們轉離自己的罪，信靠主耶穌基督，得蒙拯救，脫離律法對他們的定罪，脫離死亡的刑罰，脫離魔鬼的權勢，罪得赦免，與你和好，成為你的兒女。也求你在我心中做工，使我甘願忍受一切，不惜任何代價，以便幫助他們能夠得著那唯有在耶穌基督里才能找到的救恩。」（使徒行傳4:12；提摩太後書2:10）
✎ 1.在恩典上長進
「父神，請求你保護我的孩子，使他們不被惡人的錯謬引誘，偏離正道。求你在他們心靈深處做工，使他們每日都能在我們的主和救主耶穌基督的恩典和知識上有長進。」（彼得后書3:17-18）
✎ 2.仁愛
「父神，請你做工，使我的孩子學習過仁愛的生活，象基督那樣，為了服事你而甘願犧牲，擺上自己。」（以弗所書5:2）
✎ 3.誠實正直
「天父，求你把正直誠實雕刻在我兒女的品性中，使他們不論遭遇什麼患難和不幸，都能在你面前有清潔的良心。（詩篇25:21）
✎ 4.警醒謹守
「天父，請幫助我的兒女，使他們不要象周圍的許多人那樣對你國度的事漠不關心，而是讓他們在一切事上警醒謹守，愛惜光陰，等候主的再來。」（帖撒羅尼迦前書5:6）
✎ 5.喜愛神的話語
「天父，請在我兒女的心中生髮出對你話語的熱愛之情，使他們相信，你的話語比極多的精金更寶貴，比蜂房下滴的蜜更甘甜，並因此終生刻苦學習，潛心鑽研聖經。」（詩篇19:10）
✎ 6.公義
「天父，求你使我的兒女心內燃燒著你的公義之火，使他們象你一樣喜愛公義，無論做什麼都行動公義。」（詩篇11:7；彌迦書6:8）
✎ 7.慈悲
「天父，求你教導我的孩子時時處處以慈悲待人，就象你那樣慈悲，讓他們愛仇恨他們的人，以德報怨，善待忘恩之人。」（路加福音6:35-36）
✎ 8.順服
「天父，求你感化我的孩子，並賜給他們能力，使他們在主里聽從父母，因為這是理所當然的，好讓他們蒙受你的恩寵，得著福氣。」（以弗所書6:1-3）
✎ 9.饒恕
「天父，請指教我的兒女，使他們隨時樂意從心裡饒恕別人，就象你饒恕我們一樣。」（以弗所書4:32；歌羅西書3:13）
✎ 10.信實
「天父，求你使慈愛、誠實永遠不離開我的孩子，把這兩項美德系在他們的頸項上，刻在他們的心版上。」（箴言3:3）
✎ 11.勇氣
「天父，請在我的兒女心中做工，使他們永遠剛強、勇敢，在抵擋、恨惡、仇視他們的人面前泰然不懼。」（申命記31:6）
✎ 12.清潔
「天父，求你為他們造清潔的心，使他們時常呼求你來潔凈、洗除他們的罪孽。」（詩篇51:2）
✎ 13.恩慈
「天父，請你教導我的兒女，永遠不以惡報惡，永遠只求於他人有益的事。」（帖撒羅尼迦前書5:15）
✎ 14. 慷慨
「天父，請你指教我的兒女在好事上富足，慷慨施捨，樂意供給人，使他們為自己積攢財寶在天國，享有真正的生命。」（提摩太前書6:18-19）
✎ 15.愛好和平
「天父，請你使我的兒女謙卑，使他們不與他人爭強好勝，而是學習盡一切努力做那些使人和睦和建造他人之事。」（羅馬書14:19）
✎ 16.喜樂
「天父，求你藉著你的靈，在我的孩子心中做工，使他們不論在什麼處境中都滿有喜樂。」（帖撒羅尼迦前書1:6）
✎ 17. 堅毅恆忍
「天父，請幫助我的兒女時常記念你在以往聖徒生命中的恩典工作，好讓他們得著鼓舞，放下一切罪，存心忍耐奔那擺在他們前面的路程。」（希伯來書12:1）
✎ 18.謙卑
「天父，請在我的孩子身上培育出真謙卑，在所有人面前都謙卑，好使他們做任何事都不是出於自私自利或貪圖虛名，而是因為看別人比自己強。」（腓力比書2:3）
✎ 19.憐憫
「天父，請你讓我的兒女有憐憫之心，使他們以同情體恤之心看待他人，而不是尖酸刻薄，時時批評，處處指責。」（歌羅西書3:12）
✎ 20.責任感
「天父，懇求你教導我的孩子有責任心，好好管理你所賜給他們的一切，好使他們在天國得著大賞。」（馬太福音25:14-30）
✎ 21.知足
「天父，請把知足的秘訣教給我的兒女，使他們靠著加給他們力量的基督，無論在什麼景況下都能知足。」（腓力比書4:12-13）
✎ 22.信心
「天父，請在我的兒女心中做工，使他們有大信心，好去勝過世界和一切屬靈的仇敵，得以過正直的生活，得著你所應許的美福。」（希伯來書11:33；約翰一書5:4-5）
✎ 23.僕人的心（服事人的心）
「天父，請你幫助我的孩子培養出僕人的心腸，不追求為首為大，而是追求服事別人。」（馬可福音10:43-45）
✎ 24.盼望
「天父，請你賜恩典給我的孩子，使他們信賴你的話語，單單把盼望建立在你的話語上，使他們能象亞伯拉罕那樣，在無可指望的時候仍然滿有盼望。」（羅馬書4:18）
✎ 25.願意工作且有能力工作
「天父，請教導我的兒女看重工作，並盡心儘力做好工作，把工作看成最終是為你而做的，而不是為人做的。」（歌羅西書3:23）
✎ 26.切慕神
「天父，請你使我的兒女有顆無論在什麼情況下都切慕你、永遠緊緊跟隨你的心。」（詩篇63:1，8）
✎ 27.智慧
「天父，我懇求你，多多地賜屬靈的智慧聰明給我的孩子，使他們好敬畏你，遠離惡事，因此而蒙受你的恩惠，享有幸福有用的人生。（箴言3:13-15；9:10；16:6）
✎ 28.常常禱告
「天父，請賜我的孩子禱告之心，教導他們靠著聖靈，隨時多方禱告祈求，不斷地禱告祈求。」（以弗所書6:18；路加福音18:1-8）
✎ 29.感恩
「天父，求你教導我的兒女遵基督而行，好使他們過著充滿感恩的生活；不管你使他們的生活中發生什麼，都能凡事感謝你。」（歌羅西書2:6-7；以弗所書5:20）
✎ 30.宣教之心
「天父，求你使我的兒女有到遠方傳道的願望，使他們渴望看到你的榮耀在萬國中被宣揚，你的偉大作為在萬民中被述說。」（詩篇96:3）
✎ 31.靠聖靈行事
「天父，請指教我的兒女，從很幼小的時候起就靠聖靈行事，而不順著肉體的邪情私慾而行。（路加福音5:24-25）
本文摘自《禱告！》雜誌第四期，轉載自「改革宗經典出版社」網站 。
简介：
基督教可信吗？这种称耶稣基督为神的儿子的信仰具有理性的根据吗？
然而历世累代以来，无数的学者、学生及成人都可以异口同声地回答说：“是的！”
麦道卫所著这本《铁证待判》一书也就为了要证明这一点。
麦氏在国际学园传道会工作多年，曾代表学园传道会分别在世界53个不同的国家和地区，539个校园中巡回布道，许多学生与教授均因他的讲词信心得到鼓励和帮助。以他个人所举行大大小小各式不同的聚会，课堂中辨论的经验，以及举办许多个人辅导课程的经历；再加上他自加州台伯特神学院（Talbot Theological Seminary）毕业时曾荣获最高荣誉的毕业学位，以及他个人在基督教信仰的历史证据所从事广泛的研究工作，我相信麦氏乃是最有资格为基督教可信性辩护的一个人。
下載閱讀：铁证待判.pdf
圣经简明指南
A Short Guide to the Bible
目录
圣经历史纵览
圣经纲要及阅读计划
旧约及新约年代表
作者及版权:Glenn Kenadjian
翻译及翻译版权:王众言
允许全文复制
【圣经初读者请注意: 为便于查询,圣经书籍分为章,经文又分为节。单独的数字或者冒号前面的数目表示 “章”,冒号后面的数目表示“节”。涉及圣经某个信息,标准的提法是先列出圣经的书名,再列出章的数目,后接冒号,再就是节的数目。例如,《创世纪》1 指该书第一章;《创世纪》12:15 指该书第 12 章 第 15 节;《创世纪》16:1-18:15 则指该书第 16 章第 1 节至第 18 章第 15 节。】
China Outreach Ministries 友爱中华 [email protected]
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圣经历史纵览
圣经由 66 卷书汇编而成。圣经分为旧约(英文缩写为 O.T) 新约 (英文缩写为 N.T) 两部分。旧约写于公元前数百年;新约是关于基督和他的早期门徒的。两约都包括三个主要部分:
旧约历史书: 从《创世记》到《以斯帖记》
旧约诗体书: 从《约伯记》到《所罗门的雅歌》
旧约先知书: 从《以赛亚书》到《玛拉基书》
新约历史书: 从《马太福音》到《使徒行传》
新约使徒书(信): 从《罗马书》到《犹大书》
新约先知书:《启示录》
通过圣经历史书的概览,我们可以对圣经历史的全貌列出以下这样一个简明提纲。这个提纲可以帮 助你在阅读圣经时通过上下文的联系而得到更好的理解。(“约”和“盟约”是一回事–都是讲一种许诺和应许的协议。)
一、《创世记》: 在上帝所创造的、然而人类却反叛了的世界,神确立赐福的盟约
二、《出埃及记》、《利未记》、《民数记》和《申命记》: 和亚伯拉罕的子孙们一起,上帝开始为自己建立一个国度
三、《约书亚记》: 上帝新生的国家开始占据应许之地
四、《士师记》和《路得记》: 上帝之国不久便陷入长期的背约和麻烦之中
五、《撒母耳记上》、《撒母耳记下》:在确立了一个“大众”国王之后,上帝检选了一位献身于上帝的国王统治以色列,并和他立约
六、《列王记上》、《列王记下》:由于以色列的后裔不断违背上帝的旨意,上帝惩罚甚至抛弃了以色列
七、《历代志上》、《历代志下》:《撒母耳记上》、《撒母耳记下》和《列王记上》、《列 王记下》所记载的事件的重述
八、《以斯拉记》、《尼希米记》和《以斯帖记》: 幸存的忠实的臣民回到应许之地
九、两约之间:
犹太历史书通常参照伪经。这些史书描述两约之间四百多年的历史。它们表明犹太人再也没有重新回到崇拜偶像和其它神明的旧辙。它们继续保持着从政治和精神上得到拯救的愿望
十、《马太福音》、《马可福音》、《路加福音》和《约翰福音》: 上帝差遣耶稣作为全地的救世主
十一、《使徒行传》: 上帝的救恩开始传遍全地
** 注意:当你读到不懂的部分,或者不知所以然,应该请教你所认识对圣经很懂的人。记下心得和问题也是很有帮助的办法。要想进入更深的层次,最好参加查经班(如果你还没有参加的 话)
圣经纲要及阅读计划
许多人都想阅读并懂得圣经，但是通常都会发生这样的事情。一个人从第一页开始读起, 当读到第三或者第四卷书的时侯,就放弃了– 感到迷失、混乱或者迷惑。问题在于,圣经由 66 卷不同文学样式的书集合而成;每一部分的重要性只有通过认真的研究才能看出。此外, 如同一本教科书,每一部分都包含着重要的信息,但是读起来并不一定会立即感兴趣。令人鼓舞的是,圣经的许多部分可读性很强。
这个计划是针对以下部分的学习指南(根据作者的理解和观念):
怎样安排阅读资料 ?
旧约和新约的阅读是按照年代顺序和主要事件的分组安排的。对于那些特别长的部分 (例如旧约中律法),只包括了一些典型的部分。尽管旧约中所发生的事件是在新约之前数百年写下来的,旧约和新约的阅读是交错进行的,为的是让你尽快进入新约部分,并帮助你比较和对比两约。
单独部分的长度大都在四个章节左右,通常都表现一个主题。弄懂这些部分,经常依赖于以前的部分。因此,我主张你们按照顺序阅读。
需要多少时间完成阅读?
取决于你的阅读速度和注意力的集中程度。每一个独立的部分大约需要 15 到 30 分钟。 这个计划包括大约 60 个部分。譬如说,如果你每天读一个新的部分,你大约需要两个月完成阅读;如果你每周读一个新的部分,你大约需要一年多一点时间完成。
我怎样从阅读中得到最大效益?
为了帮助阅读的顺利进行,经常参照圣经年代表，和”圣经历史简明提纲”,或者其它圣经简明纲要。
尽管如此,圣经并不以仅是历史事件的记录。圣经声称要把认识上帝的知识给予我们,也要帮助我们了解自己，以及懂得如何和上帝建立关系，经历丰盛的生命。对于每个部分,可以问自己以下三个问题:
圣经纲要及阅读计划 —圣经主要部分学习指南
旧约:从创世到人的堕落、到上帝对亚伯拉罕的应许
❑《创世记》1-4,创造和反叛
❑《创世记》6-9,被洪水毁灭
❑《创世记》11:1-9; 11:27-13:18; 15,种族/民族的起源和上帝与亚伯兰 (后来上帝为他改名 叫 亚伯拉罕) 的盟约
❑《创世记》16:1-18:15; 21:1-7; 22,亚伯拉罕和信心的试探
新约:《马太福音》所讲述的耶稣在人间的生活经历
❑《马太福音》1-4,耶稣人间生活的开始
❑《马太福音》5-7,山上宝训
❑《马太福音》8-11,神迹和门徒
❑《马太福音》12-15,寓言和其它教训
❑《马太福音》16-19,更多的教诲和事件
❑《马太福音》20-23,在耶路撒冷的训示和活动
❑《马太福音》26-28,受难、死亡和复活
旧约:以色列出埃及的一代
❑《创世记》25:19-26; 35:9-12; 《出埃及记》1-4,摩西和亚伯拉罕的后裔在埃及
❑《出埃及记》5:1-6:13; 7-8,摩西、法老和灾祸
❑《出埃及记》11:1-12:40; 14; 15:22-27; 《诗篇》105,逾越节和出埃及
❑《出埃及记》19-21; 22:16-23:9; 《利未记》4:27-35,十诫和其它约定律法
❑《利未记》26; 《诗篇》1; 19:7-14; 119:1-32,忽视与恪守上帝律法的不同结果
❑《民数记》10:11-16; 10:33-11:35; 13-14,抱怨、反叛和后果
新约:《约翰福音》所讲述的耶稣在人间的生活经历
❑《约翰福音》1-3,开端
❑《约翰福音》4-6,与他人的接触
❑《约翰福音》7-10,对耶稣身份的不同看法
❑《约翰福音》11:1-14:4,拉撒路复活,群众反映和与门徒的最后聚集
❑《约翰福音》14:15-17:26,最后的嘱托
❑《约翰福音》18-21,被捕、被钉十字架和显现
旧约:以色列的下一代和群盲无首的时代
❑《申命记》1:4:32-40; 5-7; 10:12-22,摩西对下一代的重托
❑《约书亚记》1; 3; 5:1-6:21; 7,约书亚带领以色列民到达所应许之地
❑《约书亚记》23:1-24:31; 士师记 2:6-23; 《诗篇》106,以色列人重新反叛
新约:基督教时代的开始
❑《使徒行传》1:1-5:16,耶路撒冷教会的开始
❑《使徒行传》5:17-8:40,迫害和基督教的传播
❑《雅各书》1-5,对早期基督徒的实践性鼓励
❑《彼得前书》1-5,对於过圣洁生活的劝戒
❑《约翰一书》1-5,对於过与上帝沟通的生活指导
旧约:以色列的头三个君王
新约:保罗和他对基督真理的阐释
旧约: 北方和南方列国 、灭亡、流放和回归
新约: 保罗和患难中学到的功课
新约旧约: 关于基督的预言
完成阅读后我应该怎么办
当你读完这个提要后,你可以回到以往你跳过去的部分。阅读 【Talk Through the Bible】 by Bruce Wilkinson and Kenneth Boa一书会有助于你进一步了解圣经, 【30 Days to Understanding the Bible in 15 Minutes a Day】 by Dr. Max Anders这本书也是值得推荐的。你也可以回头重读这个指南中的部分。你将确定无疑的发现你第一次阅读时没有发现的东西。
